“Then I will live with not knowing, lest it devour me and change who I am.”
He nodded but, again, said nothing.
“Rauf mentioned being with you while you were away,” she told him. “Where did you and he go?”
“When did he mention that?” he asked, thankfully forgetting their previous conversation.
She shook her head. “I do not recall. Yesterday at some point. So?” she asked, getting back to what she wanted to know. “Where did you go?”
“Everywhere,” he told her. “We traveled to France and then to Spain. We sailed on ships and settled for a while in small villages encircled by the rainforest along the Marañon River. Rauf was ill most of the time there.” He smiled, remembering, then shook his head at himself. “But we made our way.”
“It sounds like quite an adventure.”
“Twas. But I have come home to a mountain of correspondence to read and answer.”
“I can write,” she reminded him. If he still hated her, perhaps she could win him back. “Remember?”
“Ah, aye. So you can.”
“I can help.”
“And take care of my son?”
“Do you still want me to?”
He scowled at her and nodded.
“Then, aye. I can do both.” And care for you. She wanted to tell him, but she stayed quiet.
The chapel door opened again and Simon stepped inside.
When they saw him, they stood up from the bench.
“Your son is awake, my lord. He cries.”
“Thank you, Simon,” Julianna said then looked up at Nicholas and offered him an apologetic smile for answering in his stead. “I have kept you from your duties long enough,” she told him, before he had time to speak. He closed his mouth and looked away for a moment. She hated having to leave him. She hoped he felt the same way. “Good day, my lord.”
She didn’t wait for his reply but stepped around the brother-in-training and left the chapel, trying to remember the way back to Elias’ room.
Chapter Ten
“My lord?”
“What?” Nicholas looked at Simon, who was staring at him. “Did you say something?”
“I asked if you needed prayer. I know how hard this is for you.”
He knew because he possessed wisdom far beyond his sixteen years and had found a way beneath Nicholas’ armor to become his confessor. Simon was the only person who knew how he still felt about Julianna. Nicholas smiled and looked at the door again. “How many stars do you think there are in the heavens, Simon?”
“Innumerable, my lord.”
“That is how many times I have prayed to be with her.”
“And now she is here,” the young brother remarked.
“Aye, she is here. We are free, and I am stricken and stilled with terror.”
“My lord, you were praying for something and running away from it at the same time. Well, God has answered your prayers. Now what will you do with such a precious gift as a second chance?
