He shoved his finger down the neck of his léine and tugged it. “My lady, I cannot speak for him.”
He was loyal. She liked him all the more for it. Besides, she didn’t need for him to answer. He already had. Why had Nicholas gone to Berwick? Did he know the Scottish lord there?
“How long ago did he rescue you?”
“About a month and a half now, my lady,” he said and urged her onward with a movement of his chin.
Ignoring his chin, she moved a little closer, as if to protect him from anyone overhearing. “Why is your head shaved?”
“I had to keep my head shaved as a slave. I still do it out of habit. And I do not mind it anymore since I am now studying and practicing to be a brother of the Carmelite order. Margaret, the seamstress here, is putting the finishing touches on my habit.”
“That is good news,” she said with a tender smile. “Should I call you Brother?”
He shook his head and laughed. “Simon will do, my lady.”
“Julianna,” she reminded him with her most tender smile. She thought he had very sad eyes behind his mirth. “I am the new governess to the earl’s son. You have my thanks for standing watch over him.”
“I was honored to be asked, my—Julianna.”
He respected Nicholas. He was grateful to him for rescuing him from servitude. Who wouldn’t be?
She looked down the hall. Nicholas was waiting for her in the chapel. She wanted to go…to run. But they would talk. Her marriage was likely to come up. Even if it didn’t come up naturally, she needed to tell him. She nodded to herself and took a deep breath.
“We shall speak again, Simon.” She smiled. “I’m glad you are free.”
He blushed and nodded then looked away, still smiling when she turned and headed down the hall making two right turns.
Following Simon’s directions, she finally came to the door of the small chapel and pulled it open. Whatever was coming, she would face.
The inside was lit with hundreds of candles, creating light and shadow along the stone walls. The smell of melting candlewax filled Julianna’s nose and gave her a familiar sense of comfort, the way she’d felt at the abbey. Silence boomed through her ears until she thought she heard God moving about.
Nicholas sat on a bench to the right of the altar. When he heard her, he stood up and waited for her to reach him. “Forgive me for leaving my post at my son’s door,” he said, watching her move closer. “There are too many people in the castle. I need to step away sometimes. ’Tis peaceful here.”
“Aye,” she agreed. “’Tis.” Her dreams paled in comparison to the way light from hundreds of candles flittered over his dark, stormy visage.
“’Tis quiet. No one ever comes in here save for young Simon.”
“I met him,” she said, smiling at the memory of the brother. “He mentioned you rescued him in Norham. What were you doing so close to Berwick recently?”
His eyes blazed and she feared she might have gone too far and made him angry with poor Simon.
“We can talk about that later,” he said, sitting down. “I am curious about your life after we saw each other again at St. Peter’s.”
“You mean my marriage?” she asked quietly as she sat beside him on the polished bench.
“All of it,” he answered. “If you wish to tell me.” His gaze flowed over her fiery mantle and came to rest on her face. With no reaction revealed, save for the deepening intensity of his eyes, he asked, “How did you get here? How long were you with the abbess after I left? You can tell me what you wish.”
She used to tell him everything. She wrung her hands together and then stared at them. She missed him. She missed him more than he would ever know. Could she tell him that? Could she tell him that she wanted him and only him in her life, in her arms, and in her bed? Would he forgive her for marrying Phillip? Could she still tell him everything?
Chapter Nine
“After my husbanddied, I remained at St. Peter’s for about a year. I did not want to marry again and the abbess protected me.”
“You speak of the abbess who knocked out Cain when we were there?”
She nodded, remembering that day and her words to him. She hated that day.
You are a servant, Will. We were never meant to be together.
