“I did not leave you!” he grounded out through his clenched jaw. “I would never have left you, Julianna! Never. It sickens me that I must defend it. So I will not.”
What? What was he saying? That the gossip was true? Her father had beaten him? “But you rode with the Scots after that.”
The door opened and Molly appeared on the other side. “I think he is waking up.”
William rushed back inside, to the bed, with Julianna on his heels.
“Elias?” His rich voice filled her ears.
William had a son. With someone else.
He had the audacity to be angry with her? And what would he do when he found out to whom she had been married?
“He does not respond!” he cried out, lifting his hands to his head.
Julianna pushed past him and leaned over the bed to feel the babe’s face. He was cool. His fever had broken.
“I knew it,” Nicholas lamented under his breath and moved away.
What had Nicholas known? What made those words tear away from his heart as if bringing to completion its destruction?
She looked down and found Elias’ beautiful blue-gray eyes on her. She held her breath, afraid to move lest he begin to cry. His huge gaze took in the sight of her hair falling down the side of her face and onto the bed—like a red waterfall. He smiled and sealed her heart to his. William’s child.
“Say good morn to your papa, Elias.” She moved out of the way, swishing her hair over the babe’s face and making his smile grow into a soft giggle.
She looked up in time to catch the flash of gratitude in Nicholas’ eyes when he turned and saw his son awake.
The babe looked at him without screeching. “Lyahs’ tummy want food.”
Julianna laughed. “This tummy?” she asked and tickled his belly gently, since he was just recovering.
He squealed with laughter, even as his father left the room.
“What was all that with you and the earl about?” Molly drooled for information.
“I knew him once,” Julianna told her and also Rauf, who stood behind, listening, “before he was an earl. I had not recognized him under all his hair. But when I saw him, clean-shaven, I knew who he was.”
“Now do you remember why he would have reason not to like you?” Molly asked, hoping for a bit more spice.
“He is angry with me for not following my heart,” she told the woman. “My life took a very different turn than it would if I had.” She looked down at Elias. Color was returning to his cheeks. Goodness, he was a heart-wrenchingly beautiful little boy.
She glanced at the door and wondered what his father’s words had meant. He knew it. Did he think Elias was dead? That he’d lost him? Had such certainty torn from his heart the last shred of humanity he had left?
Life had been hard on her dearest, most beloved friend. She wanted to make it easier.
She prayed William…Nicholas would let her stay to take care of his son. And of him. She wasn’t sure anything could make her leave now that the child had smiled at her. Now that she knew that, like his father, he hadn’t had anyone to comfort him in weeks—or who knows how long, really? If Avice could leave him just because of his big, hairy father then she didn’t truly love him.
That was about to change and anyone who tried to get in her way would get a needle to the arse.
Chapter Five
Nicholas walked alongthe battlement wall with Rauf later that night. Inside, the castle was quiet. Elias had eaten supper with Julianna and then they ran around the courtyard until the sun went down. He’d watched them from up here.
He shouldn’t have.
He realized when he thought he might lose Elias that he, indeed, did love him. That scared the hell out of him. The fear of losing someone he loved came flooding back, making him panic, making him run.
But the babe had stopped crying. He’d even laughed. Nicholas could so easily lose himself to the memories of his son smiling and then laughing.
