“I heard that,” he narrows his eyes at us.
“You were supposed to. Sorry,” I say to Jesse.
“Ah, you’ve got nothing to be sorry about, if anything this has entertained me. Thanks again for the ride. And please call me when they come for the car. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”
Jesse thanks me again and goes back inside. That was one of the weirdest interactions I’ve had in… well, ever.
I hope to hell I never have to see that big assbutt again.
On the drive back, I think about where my life is going. What better time to have a full life do over, when one of the biggest parts of it has gone? I’ve been putting off seeing friends, I’m still not fully back on board at work. Seeing Jesse has gone a long way to waking up my love of my job though.
I hope I helped. In some small way. Nope, not going to let the other one into my brain. Even with all those muscles and the cuteness of him holding his child.
It’s been way too long since I’ve been on a date. For the first time since dad died, I feel like doing something other than going home, eating a shitty microwave meal and watching mindless TV to have noise in the house.
Before dad got sick, I had my own apartment. There was no question of me giving the place up and moving home to take care of him. Initially, he’d hated feeling like I was giving something up, but Dad was the most important person in my life, there was no way I was going to let him deal with his diagnosis alone. He was no burden to me.
When we found out why he’d not been feeling himself, it was the first time I ever saw my dad scared. He masked it, but I knew him too well. He feared dying. Who wouldn’t? But he feared leaving me alone more. My whole life we’d been a team, the two of us had been there for one another through everything, good and bad.
The doctors told us the treatment could prolong his life. They were liars. His deterioration was so fast in fact, it felt like I’d been cheated. He was stolen from me within two months. Someone so full of love shouldn’t be taken from the world when there are so many other people deserving of it.
Uncharitable thoughts aren’t usually something I’m capable of, but he was my dad.
He wouldn’t want me to drown in grief. It’s time to do something I’ve been putting off. I need to be around people. I can already hear Dana’s voice in my head when I call to say its time for that girl’s night she’s been trying to drag me to.
Parking the car besides Jesse’s broken down one, I call my best friend.
“Taylor, I was just thinking about you.”
“In what way?”
“In aI haven’s spoken to my bestie in two dayskind of way. Are you okay? Where are you?”
“Take a breath Dana. I’m good,” I laugh. “I’m in work, well outside of work.” I explain what happened, without going into detail about Jesse’s private business.
“He does sound hot.”
“That’s what you got from the conversation.”
“You literally said he was topless, tattooed, grumpy and good looking.”
“I never.”
“You did,” she tells me. “Why are the hot ones always so irritating?”
“It’s not like I’m going to see him again. Anyway, that wasn’t why I was calling.”
“Are you doing okay?” her tone changes. I’m not going to get defensive about it. Dana is one of the few I can be real in front of. I’ve cried many tears on her the past few months.
“Yes, I swear. Some days are easier than others but I’m good. In fact, I was gonna suggest we go out tonight.”
“For real?”
“Yeah. Nothing crazy, a few drinks, maybe something to eat?”
Dana squeals. We’ve only been friends since college where I went into nursing while she did marketing. It feels like I’ve known her forever we click so well. Dad loved her too, and she loved him right back. She’s the closest thing I have to a sibling, someone who knew dad and sees how hard this is hitting me.
“I know just the place. There is this guy-”
