Whyam I such an idiot? My cheeks flush with embarrassment and I throw on my clothes, hang the towel back in the bathroom and head to the stairs. I pass by a bedroom and glance inside to see a crib and some toys. It makes me soften again.
He might think he’s the big bad scary president, but he has a baby he loves, and a best friend he looks out for. He’s gone above and beyond to make sure I feel safe after that asshole hurt me.
He’s waiting by the door holding his helmet and keys and my purse, which he passes to me.
“I’m sorry about that flippant comment, it was stupid.”
“It was fine, don’t worry about it,” he rubs a hand through his short hair. “I try to keep it separate from this house. Things are different here. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” I nod. He doesn’t need to explain it is about his son. “I won’t do it again.”
He smirks and I flush again at the assumption I made that I’ll ever be here again. Get me out of here now.
I duck past him and open the front door. He follows me, laughing and I give him a haughty look over my shoulder.
He walks me to the car, and I expect him to grab me and assert some kind of authority but he stays back, looking down the street. There is nothing else for me to do but get in the car. Before I fully close the door, I tell him goodnight.
“I’ll text,” he says.
My heart flips over, but I contain my shit and nod instead, closing the door. Noah doesn’t move until I’m driving away, I keep watching in the rearview mirror as he gets smaller, standing there, watching me drive away, and I wonder what he is thinking. If it’s the same thing as me.
It’s going to be really hard to walk away from him.
Chapter Eighteen
Nero
The sound and smell of this place really does make me want to gag. As I climb off the bike I glance to the left where the pigs are. Some of them are inside their barn but a few are out snorting around, digging up mud and hay with their snouts. There is nothing nice about these pigs, they’ve survived on human flesh and bone for a long time now.
I don’t know how Stryker stands it. He doesn’t live on the farm, he has two trusted people who manage the place and take care of the pigs, even breeding them to make sure there is a never-ending supply. They’re never around when Stryker is busy with his late night work or anyone from the club shows up.
I’d give anything to still be with Taylor, my plan had been to keep her in my bed all night, something I haven’t wanted to do in years. I can count on one hand the number of times a woman has slept in my bed.
It was different when I stayed at her dad’s place, she was vulnerable. I wanted to let her know she was safe. Fucking her for the first time the next morning was a bonus.
Once again, I have to compartmentalize my thoughts and not bring myself here with her on my mind. Chains is finally talking.
I wince when I walk into the large barn that is way at the back of the land, away from the small farmhouse and the pigsties. It doesn’t last long because this fucker is a traitor. Still, seeing someone hanging from the ceiling with meat hooks through his shoulders isn’t a sight anyone should get used to.
Apart from Stryker. He has no issue doing this kind of thing. The place smells of piss and blood. Razer and Nashville are standing off to the side talking as I walk in. They both look up and move toward me. For now, it looks as if Chains is unconscious.
The closer I get, the easier it is to see the destruction of his face. I’m not even sure his nose is where it’s supposed to be. It is sickening, but what this prick did is deserving of it.
“What else did he say?”
Nashville stops beside me, hands on his hips as he looks at Chains with as much distaste as me.
“Had we gone to that meeting two nights ago, it would have been more than an ambush. They had M16 assault rifles and were going to mow us down as we drove up.”
My jaw clenches. They didn’t plan on showing their faces, like the fucking cowards they are. I’d turn around and punch the fucker myself if I thought it would hurt. He’s out cold and I’m not sure any hit I could give will rival the world of pain he is already in.
Out of the corner of my eye I spot Stryker sitting on a hay bale in a dark corner. If I were anyone else, I might have jumped seeing him there, so still and quiet. I’m used to finding him like this, sitting and watching, his face a blank mask.
As Nashville fills me in on the plan Storm had to take us out and how Chains was feeding him everything we were doing, I watch Stryker watching me.
Some people say he has dead eyes, but that isn’t what I see when I look at my Reaper. I see a man who needs to do the awful things he does because he’s afraid of himself, and what he thinks he might do to those around him, the people he cares about.
I don’t know what happened to him in the past, or the weight he’s carrying, all I know is, doing what he does for the club keeps his monsters at bay. Now he isn’t sure what to do. Those two things are colliding here, his cousin is now the enemy.
