A text comes through as I lay down, so I check the phone. It’s Rebel, letting me know the ugly business at Stryker’s is done. I send a one-word reply, then set the phone down and stare at the ceiling.
It takes a long time for sleep to take me.
Chapter Two
Taylor
I’m jolted from my thoughts by the loud snap of my name. “Taylor?”
Not sure how long she’s been calling me, I suspect it’s probably been a few times. I look up at Shannon, the senior nurse on duty who is frowning at me. Not in anger, it’s concern.
It takes a moment to pull out of the haze I went into. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“Your patient is here. Ashlyn said she called you, but you didn’t pick up.”
“I didn’t hear the phone.” I reach over and pick it up, and there is a dial tone. Shit. I’m supposed to be convincing Shannon I’m fine and ready to be back at work. Not drifting off into memories that keep filling my mind.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Shannon moves closer to the desk. “You can take more time off after what you’ve been through these past few months.”
She’s not the only person at the clinic who thinks I came back too soon, but what else was I supposed to do? Sit at home and stare at theempty rooms that used to be so full of life? Cry myself into a stupor and wake up looking like I’ve been hit by a truck.
That has happened more than once. Dad would hate to see me like that. The only way I can keep myself from sinking into depression is to stay busy. Not that Shannon has kept me all that busy since I came back. I’ve barely seen any patients, instead working on waiting lists and appointments, or doing admin tasks that either Ashlyn our receptionist can do, or Danica, the actual clinic manager.
It’s only been two months since I lost my dad. Cancer took him from me. Being a nurse doesn’t help. You never expect it, not when cancer decides to take root and destroy your body.
My dad was my best friend. Everyone loved him, he always had time for people, even when he was too busy. That was his way. Selfless. He raised me alone after my mother decided motherhood wasn’t for her. We were a team, he was my biggest supporter, my confidante. I’d gone off to college and had my own place, but I never thought of anywhere but Dad’s house as home.
It’s still hard to comprehend that he is no longer in the world. I’ve never believed in a higher power, or any kind of deity in the sky. Not until now. I can’t bear to think he ceased to exist. He was larger than life. Nothing about him being gone is right.
I’m not sure I’ll ever stop missing him. Or the things he used to do that I took for granted. The sound of him yelling at the TV when his baseball team, the Baltimore Orioles, was playing.
Or the never-ending supply of Cocoa Pops cereal he always had in the pantry. The proper kind from the UK, not the plastic, tasteless crap, as he referred to the version made here. He got it shipped over.
I don’t even know where he got it from, and the thought of it running out guts me.
“I’m sorry, I got lost in thought,” I say, getting up.
“Mr. Cartwright is ready to see you, so long as you’re sure. Caitlin can take him if you need time.”
Coming around the desk, I pat Shannon’s arm. She’s in her late forties and has been a mother figure to most of the other nurses under her. She’s highly experienced and spent a lot of time in busy ER departments throughout her career. Some in high-risk areas where there was barely any let-up in the violent crimes that saw people ending up in hospital.
She decided to move away from that and into the private nursing business. I’d started out here, so had no clue what it was like doing what Shannon had done before. My aunt suffered with diabetes most of her life, and I love her almost as much as Dad, so when I went into nursing, that was what I specialized in.
I’m lucky to have found my place here. I can’t blow it now. Not that I wouldn’t be forgiven for taking a little longer away. I just can’t. I need to be here.
The last few months of my life have been miserable as fuck. I need some light. If that comes as being around colleagues and patients I’ve been seeing for the last four years, then this is where I’m going to be.
“It’s not doing me any good to stay at home.”
“Are you still at his place?”
“Yeah, I let my apartment lease lapse.”
“Hey,” Caitlyn appears in the doorway before Shannon can ask any more questions. She is a good friend of mine and a fellow nurse at the clinic. “Guess who’s here?”
Shannon side-eyes Caitlyn, who gives her a sheepish grin.
“Don’t even pretend you don’t look forward to his appointments,” she tells our boss.
