The sadness in his eyes hits me; he feels guilty but still I feel like he's not telling me everything. “It's not up to you to make me forget it.” I step closer and place my hands on his chest. “You've kept me company in my lonely nights and when I needed it,” I confess. Even though our friendship stopped the way it did before he left, it was the only anchor to make me survive during all the violence I had.
He pulls me in a hug that takes my breath away. “I was forced to leave, Leila, otherwise I'd have never left you with him.” He moves me away to lock eyes with me. “It took me so long to prepare my revenge and take you back. It wasn't supposed to end that way and when Nick told me you two got married, I knew I lost every chance with you.”
My eyes fill with tears and I blink to push them back. “I was just their pleasure doll and the one to vent with, physically, Chris. Nothing else.”
I own you, therefore you'll do everything I want when or with whomever I want. Nicholas'words echo in my head, making me shiver in disgust. I focus on Christopher's chest, ashamed of what I've confessed.
He cups my chin and forces me to look at him. The mix of anger and sadness in his eyes hit me. “I'm sorry, little one. They're burning in hell for that.”
The knocks on the door distracts me as Chris says to come in.
“You look fantastic, Leila. Come downstairs, we'll have breakfast in ten minutes,” Elena squeaks while waiting for me.
“Give me a second.” I nod at her as she closes the door. Chris is already in the bathroom and I follow him. He stares at the mirror, bare chested while shaking the foam to shave. My eyesleer over his tattoo and I move forward to touch it. He tenses but still says nothing. “It suits you.”
Chris chuckles as he turns around. “Does it?” The gold flecks in his eyes make my heart race madly in my chest.
I get on my tiptoes and kiss him. I don’t know why, but I can't stop myself. Maybe it's because for once in my life, I feel safe. Or maybe because I'm afraid I've lost him. I feel my heart sink under my feet as I back off. “I'm sorry,” I murmur as I rush toward the door.Che cazzo mi è preso? The hell is wrong with me? He doesn't want his brother’s leftovers. He is nice to me just because he feels guilty.
“You should stop thinking.” His voice shakes me as I blink a few times and I see him caging me between his arms. “Welcome back, piccola.” He smirks. “Now, before you freak out, tell me why you kissed me.”
“Because I've always wanted to,” I admit. His cologne mixed with his sweat is so intoxicating that it makes me feel enveloped in his arms. His mouth crashes on mine, making my brain shut while my entire body shudders. I can't think, I can't breathe, I don't even know if I'm alive anymore. The moment he forces his tongue in my mouth, a moan escapes me and I want more. I need more. He scoops me up and makes me sit on the counter while he continues to devour my mouth. His erection brushes over the inside of my thighs and I'm already done. Nothing matters anymore.
He breaks the kiss and meets my eyes. We're out of breath but he doesn't leave me nor backs off. “Be mine, Leila. I'll give you the world. Fuck, I'll give you the universe and more if you ask me.“
“Chris…”
He leans his forehead on mine. “We'll take it slowly, I promise.”
“You'll find out how damaged I am, Chris.” My voice breaks as tears spill off.
“Give me your pain, Leila. Give me your nightmares, your fears, everything that hurts you. I don't give a fuck if you can't have babies, we'll adopt them someday in the future. I want to give you everything I've dreamed of since I laid my eyes on you.”
Sinking my teeth in my bottom lip, I’m trying to find courage to keep my soul together. “I'm on the pill Chris, or better I was. I didn't want babies with Nick; he drugged me, forced me to use it and I didn't want my baby to ever live that way. If it weren't for Viola, I wouldn't be here, I didn't want that nightmare for my baby.” I start to cry, feeling as vulnerable as I've never been before.
“Fucking bastards.” He grips the counter and the angry growls reverberate over my skin. “My world is not a fairy tale. But I'll never put you in danger.”
I cup his face and kiss him. “As long as I can have you in my life, I don't care.”
“Mia.”Mine. He murmurs on my lips, “You won't regret it.”
“Tua.”Yours. His lips stretch in a smile that makes my heart race.
CHAPTER 10
CHRIS
One week later
It took me one taste of her and I'm so fucked. One word was enough to make my heart out of my chest and give it to her. I've jerked in the shower for the millionth time during the past week and it wasn't enough. Sharing the same bed was a mistake. I knew it the moment I agreed with her not to leave her alone at night. I used to let her fall asleep and leave in the room next door but when she had a nightmare and panicked it broke my heart and I promised to stay here with her. Now though I crave her even more but she needs time to heal and I'll give it to her even if it means I’ll die of blue balls. I don't want her to remember or relive whatever the bastards did to her. Whenever she'll be ready for me, I'll rock her world.
Watchingher having a proper meal makes me happy. I don't want to ask her why she is waiting for me to start eating or why she eats so little. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with those bastards.
“Are you calmer now?” Ferdinando nudges me.
I nod not taking my eyes off her. “Thank you for your help. Whenever you're ready, I'll be more than happy to merge our societies.”
He pauses his fork while looking at me. “You sure you’re not emotional about your dad’s departure?”
