I’ve never been afraid of death. After all, how do you know if this is real life or not? You have to accept what you have and live day by day.
Nobody really knows how much time they have.
Yet a sense of fear, restlessness, and distress overwhelms me. I’m wasting my life in a marriage that isn’t what it seems, with a man I don’t love. And the feeling is mutual. Why doesn’t he let me go if he has found happiness in someone else’s arms?
“I don’t think I like your thoughts.” He hugs me, kissing my forehead.
“It’s nothing. I thought about...my grandmother.” I try to come up with a plausible excuse.
“Hmmm, don’t worry, baby. If you don’t feel like it, we can go back,” he reassures me.
“No need,” I reply, smiling.
We stop at a tree-lined intersection.
The wind has risen. Wearing only a blouse, I tremble. Danny takes off his leather jacket and puts it on me. “Thank you.” I instinctively smell it. It has a spectacular scent, and I smile.
I take the path to our right, and Danny follows me. When we arrive at the hill, I stop. The instinct that brought me here has now abandoned me.
Danny smiles, and doubt arises.
“You know the place,” I say. “We’re not lost, are we?”
“You can’t get lost in a cemetery and, no, we’re almost there. How did you know which path to choose?”
“I don’t know. Intuition.”
“Let’s see where your intuition takes you now.” He motions for me to continue.
If this is helping him not be nervous, I’ll try.
I approach some tombstones. Danny stands to the side.
“At least you could tell me her name. You realize that it’s impossible to find it without clues. It’s a rather disturbing game. Definitely not one to tell our children.”
Danny’s astonished expression makes me realize what I just said. Fuck!
I turn around, approaching a tombstone. It’s as if I’m attracted by it.
I lower myself, stroking the inscription.
“Alice, wonderful wife, beloved mother, and a splendid angel who will be missed by all of us.” Tears fall, and I sit on the ground, whispering a barely audible “hello.”
“Hi, Mom. Sorry I’m late, but I have a good excuse,” Danny says as he sits next to me. He hugs me, and when he sees my tears, he wipes them away, shaking his head. “Is everything okay, baby?” I nod, hugging him.
“Will you leave me alone with her for a moment?” I ask.
“Sure, baby. I’ll be over there.” He points out a bench not far away that overlooks the bay.
Once he’s gone, I say, “Hi, Alice. I’m sorry I didn’t have the opportunity to meet you in person. You raised a wonderful son. I fell in love with him, and I can’t tell him. I don’t know what to do. My life is a disaster, and we have begun a story that can destroy us. I know it seems stupid to talk to a tombstone, but I really need some advice. I don’t know what to do.”
A gust of wind touches my hair, and a whisper reaches my ears. “Be careful. He’ll take his revenge.”
My blood runs cold, and I turn to Danny, who is still on the bench. I look around me and see nobody. I look at the tombstone. Another rush of wind touches me. “Protect the little girl.”
It must be the side effects of painkillers and fatigue.
It’s impossible. I’m dreaming.
