For the first time, I accepted I was different now. Living as a lone wolf would never be enough.
ELLE
Earlier today, Sutter had surprised me by asking to visit Baton Rouge. I assumed he was gunning to visit the city’s science museum. Instead, he hit me with logic about knowing we’d spend plenty of time in Baton Rouge in the future.
“The baby will want to know Zodiac,” he explained calmly.
“That’s true.”
“Also, Grandpa said Zodiac liked you more than he expected. He won’t just go away, so we should view him as part of our life now.”
“With Zodiac, I don’t know if we should assume anything.”
“He followed you around the entire time he was here.”
“Baby, he’s a complicated man with a bad childhood. I don’t think he knows what he wants from moment to moment. How can we understand him when he doesn’t understand himself?”
Sutter flashed a dark frown. He was clearly becoming attached to Zodiac, just like I feared.
But I totally understood why my boy wanted to know Zodiac better. I was itching to get back to Baton Rouge and spend time with my baby daddy. The next week couldn’t fly by fast enough.
The drive to Baton Rouge was relaxing this time around. Zodiac knew I was coming. I didn’t have to feel so far away from Sutter. Plus, I got to step into Zodiac’s life rather than only hide in his apartment.
Months ago, Lula and Exile had bought a luxurious house in an upscale neighborhood. There was space for Nova and the girls plusguests. Pax and Bebe had taken the foster kids down to Baton Rouge a month ago for a long vacation.
Sutter was mostly interested in the house’s pool. We were quickly in our swimsuits. I played with him in the water and worked on his swim techniques. Nova and her girls joined us while I assumed Lula and Exile worked on breaking in their mattress.
“Is it always hot like this?” I asked Nova as she stepped into the pool wearing her one-piece swimsuit complete with a little skirt.
“Usually, yes.”
“Was it difficult to get used to when you moved here from whatever Dakota you came from?”
“Yes, and I was also very pregnant.”
“Did you wear cute maternity clothes?”
“No.”
“How come?”
“I didn’t have the money.”
“Why didn’t Exile buy you any?”
“I didn’t ask. Also, Lyric was born soon after we moved here.”
“I bet you were gorgeous while pregnant,” I insisted. “Do you have pictures?”
Nova narrowed her eyes. “How come you’re asking me so many questions?”
“Barely anyone I know has created life,” I answered when she watched me full of suspicion. “I want a mom friend.”
Nova’s face flipped from an uneasy frown to a beautiful smile. “I would like to be your mom friend,” she said, bouncing closer while Skylar and Lyric played with their toys at the steps. “Are you planning to buy fun maternity clothes?”
Nodding, I smiled at her enthusiasm. “I only have a few baggy shirts left over from my pregnancy with Sutter. I gave away the rest of my clothes to the women at the safehouses. My baby stuff is gone, too. I never figured I’d have another kid.”
Next to us, Sutter dunked his head under the water. I loved how confident he was, even in new situations. I didn’t know if he would always feel so comfortable in his own skin. Clint had kept his confidence, and I hoped for the same thing with my boy.
