Zodiac nodded, but I felt him emotionally breaking down. He had zero experience with such powerlessness. All he could do was stay by my side.
After twenty minutes of pushing, Trent Michael Reed Bondi was born. He screamed holy hell until he got cleaned and bundled up.
Zodiac didn’t relax until he saw Trent in my arms. His entire demeanor changed from tightly coiled fear to relieved smugness.
“I think he looks like me,” Zodiac insisted and lifted his small baby picture next to Trent’s face.
“I totally see it,” I told him, even if Trent looked like every single baby I’d ever seen.
Twenty minutes after I gave birth, Sutter arrived with Clint and Ivy. My mom showered me with affection while my dad introduced Sutter to Trent.
“It’s not easy being an older brother,” Ford told his grandson. “This little guy will piss you off a lot. But he also might be the best friend you ever have. You just have to learn to take the good with the bad.”
Clint looked at me and smiled. We’d had our own ups and downs over the years. He could be arrogant. I was often obnoxious. We stuck close, though, and trusted each other.
Seeing Sutter hold Trent left me in tears. For nine months, I’d been waiting for something bad to happen. To see my boys together removed a huge weight from my heart.
When Zodiac sent pictures and baby info to his guys back in Baton Rouge, he didn’t mention our son’s middle name. Michael had been my idea. I wanted to honor the little boy who survived against a world determined to break him.
Despite how proud Zodiac behaved toward his boy, he didn’t hold him. I noticed how he handed the baby from one person to another, but he never cradled Trent himself.
Shay noticed, too, and frowned at me. I hugged her and whispered, “Zodiac tends to have a delayed reaction to anything that makes him feel weak. It’s just how he processes things.”
My mom gave me a warm smile full of pride. “You know how your man operates.”
Though tired, I stayed awake to enjoy my happy family all together. Eventually, Ford and Shay decided to take Sutter home. Clint and Ivy left soon afterward. Zodiac, Trent, and I were suddenly alone.
I brushed my lips across the baby’s forehead and hoped Trent would live a happy life. Zodiac frowned when I teared up.
“We should send a birth notice to Caren,” I whispered.
“What the fuck for?”
“That way, she’ll know you’re happy, while she’s still an infected toe wearing a bad wig.”
Zodiac chuckled and nodded. “Thatwouldpiss her off.”
Seeing him relax, I finally asked, “Do you want to hold your son?”
Zodiac looked at the baby and nodded. Once I handed Trent to him, I was finally able to rest. I watched the two of them with half-open eyes. Zodiac wore the most content smile on his face. His armor was completely down, leaving his heart on display.
Living away from my family wasn’t easy, but Zodiac was worth the bad days. He took to parenting a baby with the same ease as he did when bonding with Sutter. Zodiac was a smart, hardworking guy who didn’t shy away from problems. If something needed doing, he got it handled. I could see how he had taken a club away from men with more experience. When Zodiac set his mind to something, nothing stood in his way.
As Trent got a little older, I marveled at how much he looked like Zodiac’s baby picture. My younger son inherited his dad’s blond hair, icy blue eyes, and facial features. Zodiac swore Trent looked like me when the boy smiled, but I couldn’t see it. We agreed that Trent looked just like Sutter when he laughed.
Sutter took his big brother role very seriously. He was intensely protective of Trent. More than once, my eight-year-old would shush large bikers when they got too loud during his brother’s naptime.
Every night, Sutter read a baby book to Trent. Then, I would read a grown-up book to Sutter before putting him to bed. Finally, Zodiac would read a pamphlet to me as we got naked. Our life fell into a wonderful routine.
A year to the day after meeting, Zodiac and I got married. The wedding was relaxed with our family and friends at the Sorority House. I wore a simple white knee-length dress, my club vest, andsparkly flats. Zodiac was decked out in a black button-up shirt, black jeans, and his club vest.
We had two receptions. During the one in Little Memphis, my club mates—Vanessa, Graham, Dalisay, and Jas—played acoustic versions of Zodiac’s favorite songs from the band Death.
Our second reception was at the Mouth of Madness Compound. Several of my fellow foxes rode down to celebrate, since I was hoping Zodiac was right about York’s interest in one of them. To my delight, magic struck! I soon had a local fox to keep me company.
After the wedding, Zodiac adopted Sutter. It was important to my husband to make our family feel real in the way his never did. That’s also why he wanted our home to be perfect.
We updated every inch of the property. Though I was often overwhelmed by the constant renovations, Zodiac never got rattled.
