My eyes skimmed over his body and his posture. I envied how comfortable he seemed, as if he had no cares in the world, but then wasn’t that how every person should feel in the safety of their home? I peeled a dead layer of skin off my lip, trying to imagine living in his shoes for a mere moment.
I imagined myself entering our shack with a confident swagger, my boots thudding against the floor instead of soft footfalls, and happiness seeping inside of me instead of the usual emptiness. In that vision, my mother waited for me, the aroma of a home-cooked meal filling the air, a warm smile on her face as I returned from university, my father’s absence an embraced sight.
That was all I wanted. I didn’t yearn for castles, cars, phones, designer clothes, or great wealth. None of those could fulfill my needs. Our humble house, though worn and weathered, could be a warm and welcoming place as long as those dreams came true.
Some things were so precious that they were beyond any price, even a fortune. If I had known that money could buy my mother’s health, I would’ve amassed a fortune long ago.
“What is it like—having everything you want?” I asked, playing with my cuticles as we neared the balcony.
He halted for a moment, and his eyebrows lifted on his forehead. “Pray tell, who made the claim that I possess all I desire?”
His eyes betrayed a fleeting emotion; one I knew the sting of all too well. The same emotion that seized me every night as I lay in the darkness of my bedroom, reading about warriors and loyal friends—people that would give their life before seeing their friends hurt. The very same emotion that settled into my bones as I washed my mother’s hair, the hairbrush unknotting the ends while I told her a fabricated story about my day. Theexact same emotion that took hold of me when I curled my body into a ball, tears streaming down my cheeks, laughter blooming in from outside.
The God of Love turned his head, as if he had recoiled from a scorching flame at the same time I flinched back. Despite the obvious differences between us, he and I had more in common than I was comfortable admitting. It was only then that I realized I wasn’t sure if I found the realization comforting or frightening.
He was lonely. And so was I. Though, it didn’t feel fair. He was agod. If gods couldn’t attain the lives they dreamed of, what hope could there be left for us as humans?
Fueled by curiosity and with a simmering anger beneath the surface, I couldn’t resist but ask. “Tell me one thing that you want but don’t have already.”
The answer came quickly, like it was a pre-written script that was always ready to be told. “Love.”
Love. Such a common word, formed only by four letters, but carrying so much weight. It seemed too simple, too insignificant for how important it was.
My chest stung and for a moment, I felt for him. For the man who had been betrayed by his own mother, his own blood; the woman who was sworn to protect him. Knowing all too much about his past, I found myself remembering how when I read his story, I had felt a flicker of pity for him; one of the rare gods to earn such an emotion from me.
Too distracted by his response, I followed him onto the balcony, ignoring the vibrant garden and the glittering pool.
“You’re the God of Love,” I dared to say. “How is it possible you long for love out of all people and gods?”
He buried his hands in his pockets, gazing into the distance of the night with his jaw set tightly. A breath passed between his lips, and I didn’t miss the way his muscles tensed either. “I promised myself a long time ago I’d never love again.”
I didn’t need to ask for a reason. I knew Psychewasthe reason. His eternal love, Psyche, a mortal with a beauty that eclipsed all of Olympus and a kindness that was almost inconceivable, met her end at his mother’s vengeful hand. Their tragic history was well-known through stories, though the vow he spoke of was omitted, or I’d surely recall such a significant detail. But then, it wasn’t exactly unexpected. After all, loyalty was cemented by love, and what better display of that love than a pledge to remain forever unattached?
“If it’s not an inconvenience, I’d like to discuss other matters. And please, you may refer to me as Eros.”
I nodded, understanding the subject might not be so easy on him. “Do you go to Earth often?”
“Indeed. My power is fueled by love and hatred. Since Olympus offers a finite amount of love, I travel to Earth to satisfy my needs.”
Though my tongue itched with the urge to ask him about visiting my mother—to confirm she was well—I knew that our relationship wasn’t at the point where I could ask him for favors. It would be a miracle if I didn’t blow up everything the instant I walked into his house and made a fumbling attempt to flirt with him.
I bit back the words and continued the conversation. “Why? Do gods not love?”
“They do, although their love is not as pure as that of mortals. The deity of war, Ares, for instance, has his loyalty and devotion to combat, which is where his true affection lies. This doesn’t exclude his ability to love, but it’s difficult to explain the differences between his form of love and what humans experience,” Eros took a deep breath.
Eros was correct—it was difficult to explain, but easy to understand. They were created to serve a specific purpose. Artemis was sworn to hunt, Hestia to peace, Hera to marriage,Hades to death, and the list went on. And us humans, were a combination of them all.
I bit on my bottom lip, scanning the warm vapors of the pool releasing into the night.
He tilted his head toward his shoulder, acrackdisturbing the silence. “I am in need of a bath,” Eros groaned, stripping off his pants and underwear.
Instinctively, my eyes moved past his ass before they disappeared into the darkness. This man had no inhibitions. Only when I heard the sound of the water breaking under him did I meet his face again.
Eros smiled. “You are welcome to come in. This water is known for its ability to reduce physical pain.” He closed his eyes, leaning his head back and letting the water dance around his blonde strands and neck.
My head shook. “I’m fine.”
“I can look away if you are hesitant about disrobing in my presence. I assure you, it is worthwhile.” He then turned around as if he had already convinced me.
