“You’re right. And I can win.”
It felt like opening her chest to say that and mean it. To strip out the protective layers she’d shored up around herself that shielded her from the pressure and the exposure and the pain of competing in front of the world.
She needed to stop hiding behind her other self. The Kirby who did TV shows and went viral and made headlines. That person would still be there once this was over, regardless of the outcome.
“Anyone can win. That’s the magic of the Olympics. But if you win another gold, it won’t be a fluke, no matter what the ski snobs say. You have as much right to be here, to bethere, in the very top echelon, as anyone else.”
“Even if I’m just a queer redneck from Minnesota.” She ground the tip of her pole into the snow. He had to know whatbuttons he was pressing. All the ones that kept her up at night and made her chase fame and security and attention.
“Especially as a queer redneck from Minnesota.”
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
Mara woundher way through several hallways to reach the suite of offices in the United States’ block in the Predazzo Olympic Village. She needed to retrieve her Opening Ceremony uniform.
Because the Olympic venues were spread out throughout Italy, they were having smaller satellite Opening Ceremony events in every Olympic territory. She had to decide whether to attend in Predazzo or hire transportation to Milan and back.
One option was the responsible choice—staying in Predazzo—but, in her heart, she really wanted to go to Milan. She wanted to be where the biggest spectacle would be.
For some reason, spectacle was more appealing than ever before.
When she reached the right hallway, Kirby was sitting on the ground outside the office. She had earphones in and was studying something on her phone.
Mara’s heartbeat took off like a shot. It happened every time she saw Kirby now, this unstoppable physical reaction. Her body just completely betrayed her, and she couldn’t control it.
Kirby must not have heard or seen her approach because she didn’t look up from her phone. As Mara got closer, she couldsee that Kirby was watching a race. It was the very first fifty-kilometer race in the World Cup after the distance changed from thirty kilometers to fifty.
Mara loved the change. She loved endurance. Loved pushing herself to the limit for kilometers upon kilometers. Cross-country skiing was a full-body sport. It was so physically demanding andhard. There was a reason skiers collapsed after crossing the finish line. It wasn’t dramatics. It was exhaustion. And she was so good at overcoming the pain and fatigue, pushing through it to win.
She had come in second in that race, which had helped her clinch the World Cup Crystal Globe, but the race itself had been a battle of wills. The conditions had been terrible, the snow like mashed potatoes, and every skier out there had been suffering.
“You come in nineteenth,” Mara said. Kirby startled and glanced up. She took an earphone out of one ear.
“What?”
“You come in nineteenth.”
“I know where I placed, Mara May. I was there.”
“Why are you watching that?”
Mara watched race film too but usually with her support team and Coach Karlsson to identify pain points or things to work on.
“Because I’m a masochist, obviously. Coach Wu told me to consider my strategy in deteriorating conditions. So I’m studying.”
“Ah. Okay.” It was hard being close to Kirby after everything. Mara wanted to be even closer and also as far away as possible. “What are you doing out here?”
“I’m here to pick up my outfit for the Opening Ceremony.”
Mara sat down beside Kirby. “Me too.”
“Lindsey’s in there now.”
On the screen of Kirby’s phone, Kirby was passed by skier after skier before crossing the finish line and crumpling onto her back. She smacked the ground in frustration.
“That was a good result,” Mara said.
