Zenya laughed and pressed a hand to her chest. ‘See? This is exactly what the moon wants. Vulnerability wrapped in nonsense.’
The crackling of the tiny driftwood fire was hypnotising. As Rita refilled everyone’s cups, Zenya leaned back on her elbows, looked to the stars, then cleared her throat.
‘All right, now that we’ve exposed our secrets to the sky and established that you’re all either emotionally unstable, arsonists or plant killers’ – everyone tittered – ‘let’s just do one more thing before you head back to the comfort of your yurts.’
She passed around mica-flecked stones she’d collected earlier. Holding one up, she instructed, ‘This is just a little symbol, for whatever you want to let go of tonight. You don’t have to say it aloud unless you want to.’
There was a quiet rustling as they all got their thoughts together; even Michael was still paying attention.
‘Think of something. A thought you keep going back to. A hope you’ve been afraid to name. Something you’re tired of carrying. Give it to the night.’
For a moment, no one spoke.
Then Jude’s voice, low and steady. ‘I want to stop pretending I’m content with solitude. Yes, I enjoy the peace, but… it’s not always enough.’
Teo put his hand to his heart, stuck out his bottom lip and threw Jude a comforting smile.
Michael stirred beside him, tossing his stone gently from one hand to the other. ‘I want to believe I’m not past it. Past starting again, I mean. Maybe even finding love.’
Lola grinned but her eyes were glassy. ‘I want to stop apologising for taking up space. Emotionally, physically, all of it. So I’m a fat vegan; get over it.’
‘I want to finish some of what I’ve started,’ Paul said suddenly. ‘Even if it’s crap. Even if no one listens to it but me.’
Emily gave a dramatic sigh. ‘I want to try and rekindle my passion for painting.’
Annie sniffed and wiped her nose on her onesie. ‘I want men to take me seriously. See what’s beneath all this bravado.’
Teo then spoke, his voice slower, more thoughtful than usual. ‘Leaving the world of horse racing was so hard. I miss the rush. I miss the adulation. I want to settle somewhere. And within myself.’
‘Rita?’ Zenya asked gently.
Rita took a deep breath. ‘Grief isn’t something you get over. It’s something you carry until one day, it just doesn’t feel so heavy. I think… I’m ready to put some of it down now.’
The group fell into a brief, respectful silence.
Zenya closed her eyes for a moment, letting the words settle. Then she lifted her stone and tossed it into the sea. One by one, they followed suit, quiet splashes marking wishes and worries being carried off by the tide.
Rita sat for a while then, as the others got up to go, began packing up. Paul joined her, helping gather the glasses. ‘Looks like it’s just me and you.’ Paul yawned as the others made their way sleepily to the beach car park for Teo to drive them back in theLand Rover. ‘Can I come back with you in the jeep? I don’t think I can bear any more of the woo-woo stuff.’
‘How do you know I call it that?’ Rita laughed.
‘I didn’t. I call it the same.’ Paul grinned.
Rita picked up a couple of stray blankets and made sure that the fire was fully out.
‘Here.’ He took the blankets off her, walked towards one of the dunes and placed them gently down on the sand. ‘Are you in a hurry to get back, Rita?’
‘I do need to be up at six to get your breakfasts to the yurts.’
‘I’m sure nobody will be up early tomorrow.’ Paul handed her a beer.
Rita smiled, feeling a little thrill at his tone, and took the beer. She shivered, and Paul gently pulled a blanket around her, his hand brushing hers for just a second.
‘It’s so beautiful out here.’ Rita’s voice softened as she looked at him. ‘The beach at night… really is a magical place. I can’t believe I’ve lived here all this time and never done this.’
‘It’s beautiful. The ideal place to escape to.’ Paul’s perfect smile caught the moonlight, and Rita felt her heart skip at the romance of it all.
She opened the beer and edged closer to him, catching the warmth of his arm. They sat in companionable silence, listening to the waves, and then Rita asked, ‘So what are you escaping from?’
