Between mouthfuls, Kelly looked up. ‘Great to see you, Sen, although of course I wish it were under better circumstances.’ She took a sip of coffee. ‘You know he’s a dick, right? Alex. Always has been. It’s just now you see it.’
Rita jumped in defensively. ‘Kel! Not now.’ She put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. ‘Tell me again, love, what happened. I was sleepy last night. I’m sorry.’
‘You were still drunk, Mum,’ Sennen tutted. ‘He told me on Thursday night he couldn’t cope with me moping about Dad. So, I stormed off. Luckily, I was at a wedding I’d planned yesterday and had budgeted for a hotel. But I got to the room and couldn’t bear to be on my own, so I drove straight to you.’
‘Oh, baby girl.’ Rita felt her pain as her daughter went on.
‘He also said that maybe I’d moved in with him too soon. I mean, we’re twenty-three, not eighteen!’
‘That’s stillquiteyoung,’ Kelly offered.
Rita glared at her friend, who, under her breath, said, ‘Oops. Not now, OK.’ Kelly pretended to zip her mouth shut.
‘I mean, let’s give grief an expiry date, shall we?’ Sennenbashed her hand down on the draining board, then burst into ugly snotty tears. ‘It’s not fair. I miss Dad so much.’
‘Oh, darling. It’s so awful, I know, but I’m here and you can stay as long as you want to. Come on, wipe your hands and let’s sit down. I’ll sort that later.’
Sennen did as she was told. ‘Alex wasn’t always this horrible. He just… didn’t know how to deal with my emotions. With all this.’ She gestured down at herself, as if her grief were something she carried like a second skin.
‘Well, maybe he should’ve tried a little harder,’ Rita said, voice croaky from too much wine and too little sleep. ‘That’s what you do when you love someone. You don’t walk away just because it gets a bit dark and difficult.’
Kelly felt she could speak up now. ‘Didn’t Marilyn Monroe say something like, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”?’
‘Still not helping,’ Rita murmured.
Sennen blew her nose loudly with the kitchen roll handed to her by her mother. ‘I have been a nightmare. I know it was like the old Sennen disappeared, but he didn’t want to make the effort to look for me.’ She started to cry again.
Rita reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘You’re still in there, darling, and we see and hear you loud and clear.’ She then stood slowly. ‘Right. We need air. I’ve got a spare pair of wellies. Let’s walk off these hangovers and heartbreak, shall we? Kel, you coming?’
‘The only place I’m walking is back up those stairs to bed, and I’m staying there until lunchtime.’ Kelly took a bite from Rita’s sandwich.
‘Cock-a-doodle-doo!’ came Nigel’s raucous tones from the orchard.
‘And put a gag on that sodding bird while you’re at it,’ Kel groaned. ‘He woke me at six o’-bleeding-clock this morning.’
Rita and Sennen exchanged a knowing smile as they pulled on their wellies.
As Rita and Sennen reached the High Meadow, the sun came out. They approached the edge of the cliff and, at the sight of the expansive ocean below, Sennen started to run, arms outstretched towards the majestic old sycamore tree.
‘Come on, Mum, let’s sit under the Singing Tree like we used to when me and Thom were little.’
Rita threw down her mac, and two generations of Jory women sat side by side at its base, where the roots bulged and twisted like legs poking through the ground. The soil beneath the tree was soft and cool. Above them, the sycamore’s fresh spring leaves shimmered in the light, each one the size of Rita’s palm.
‘Your dad used to leave me little love notes in this tree, you know. When we first got together and even when you two were babies. Following that on every wedding anniversary.’ Sennen was wide eyed. ‘It felt such a treat for me to come up here and see what he’d hidden.’ Rita made a funny whining noise. ‘He knew it was my “healing space”.’
‘Oh my God, Mum, that’s adorable.’
‘I would quite often come up here when the weather was good to feed you both, to escape the monotony of the farmhouse. It was hard, having two of you to look after. I don’t think I’ve ever known tiredness like it. And this view gave me some head space.’
They both took a minute in silence to look out over the wild, endless, and achingly breathtaking view. To take in the soothing cries of gulls and distant screeches of kids playing on the beach as they enjoyed the freedom of the Easter holidays. The horizon stretched wide and calm, with the pale sky gently kissing the now-shimmering sea.
Rita sighed. ‘Your dad would be so busy, but he would always have time to show that he was here for me.’ She let out a little groan. ‘So many memories. You first crawled by this tree, then ran, then played…’
‘Who crawled first?’ Sennen askedquietly.
‘Thom.’ Rita shrugged.
‘Of course he bloody did!’ Sennen laughed.
