Lewis looked pained. ‘How are you feeling about it all now – our loss, I mean?’
‘If I’m honest, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it, but it is easing. I don’t wake up every day now thinking about what could have been. I do struggle with the thought of never being able to get pregnant again, though.’ Gracie sighed.
Lewis put his hand on hers. ‘I know. I would always have adopted with you.’ He paused. ‘I still would.’
Gracie shook her head. ‘Don’t say that. I’m so confused at the moment about everything.’
Lewis welled up. ‘It’s fine. It’s just amazing to see you, smell you, talk to you. I never thought I could miss anyone this much.’
Gracie gulped. ‘Oh, Lewis. Why did you do what you did?’
‘Let’s not down this road again.’ He sighed deeply. ‘I can’t say any more than I am deeply sorry and I will never do it again. I just wish you could forgive me.’
Gracie’s voice wobbled. ‘So I take it you haven’t met anyone else, then?’
Lewis snapped. ‘Of course I haven’t. Every time I close my eyes, there is only one woman in front of me.’
As Gracie began to believe in him again, she noticed him second glance at the counter, then go white as a sheet.
‘What’s wrong, Lewis, are you in pain?’
‘No, no, it’s nothing. Come on, let’s go. This side door leads out to Retford Street, doesn’t it?’
As Gracie stared to see what had created his reaction, she felt bile slowly rising in her throat. For there at the café counter, adorned in designer maternity wear and ordering a decaff skinny latte, was an obviously pregnant Annalize.
Gracie decided to flee rather than fight. Keeping her head down, she charged out of the café onto the street; Lewis threw money on the table and followed swiftly.
He grabbed her by both arms – she was now completely uncontrollable.
‘No, no, no! How could you have kept this from me? Fuck off away from me.’ She pushed him back and he winced in pain as she caught his bad arm.
‘You have to believe me, Gracie! This is as much of a shock to me as you… And who’s to say it’s my baby anyway?’
Gracie hailed a taxi and scrambled in.
‘I hate you, Lewis. I hate you more than I ever thought I could.’
FIFTY-THREE
Gracie fell through the front door, sobbing. Boris half opened one eye from his kitchen bed and went straight back to sleep. She went to the drinks cupboard, poured herself a large gin and slugged it down neat.
She knew exactly what four months pregnant looked like and it looked like Annalize. It had to be Lewis’s. No wonder he’d gone white as a sheet. No wonder he was being so nice to her. Hehadto have known. All of this proposal shit must have been a complete ruse, a filthy, guilty ruse.
She poured herself another gin and reached for the tonic this time, sending a glass smashing onto the ceramic tiles. Boris ran to the sanctuary of the living room. Noms appeared with her hair sticking up and looking slightly flushed.
‘What’s all the noise about, Grace? What on earth’s happened?’
Through snotty sobs she told Noms what she had seen.
Noms looked sympathetic but said, ‘It’s doubtful it’s Lewis’s. You’re just being paranoid.’
‘Paranoid? I’ve just seen the girl Lewis shagged four months ago and she’s pregnant. I don’t think there is anything that could happen that could be worse. Can you?’ Gracie had never felt so angry. ‘I’m going to kill him. I honestly want to kill him.’
‘Is everything all right?’ A woman appeared in the kitchen wearing Noms’s dressing gown.
‘What are you doing here?’ Gracie recognised the redhead as the woman who’d come to her rescue in the street.
‘Oh, hello. How are you? Your injuries?’
