‘It’s Lana. I bet you’re thinking what’s a bright girl who’s off to get a degree doing not using a condom.’
‘We’ve all made mistakes, Lana.’
‘I just can’t face the thought of having an abortion. If I were to just lose the baby naturally, then that would be OK. Then it wouldn’t be my fault. I’m sorry. I should go. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.’
‘Don’t be silly. This is what this club is going to be about; we should all be honest about how we are feeling, and not what we think we should be feeling. Every day I think should I have eaten this, drunk that? Not eaten this, not drunk that. Rested more. My world fell out of me with my babies, Lana. But I do understand how you must be feeling.’
‘I’m so sorry that happened to you,’ the young girl added. ‘Do you disagree with abortion?’
‘No, I don’t. We have a right over our own bodies,’ Gracie replied immediately. ‘I do think that women need to take responsibility, but I’m no prude. I got drunk and had sex without a condom when I was your age. I have to say I was terrified for the whole week leading up to my period.’
‘You must think I’m so awful.’ Lana got up to leave.
‘You sit right down, young lady. You have the right to make a choice. You have your whole life ahead of you. There are always ways and means to manage with a child but it would be bloody hard at your age. How old are you?’
‘Seventeen.’
‘So, if you did have this baby, then by the time you get to my age, he or she would be twentyish! All wouldn’t be lost. And at least you know you can get pregnant, a lot of women can’t do that, you know.’
Gracie realised that her words would mean nothing to this young girl right at this moment, but she hoped that being balanced in her view would guide her to make the right decision, whatever that may be. She envied the bundle of cells growing inside her, but she did not envy her situation at all. At seventeen, she would have been very torn herself about what to do.
Lana sighed. ‘Thank you.’
‘I hope talking has helped a little bit. You should talk to your mum, she might surprise you. Granted, she may be angry at first but, do you know what, a mother’s love will burn through that anger pretty damn quickly, I bet you.’
Gracie thought of her own mother, whose love probably wouldn’t even smoulder a ten-denier stocking, and felt momentarily sad.
Kate walked over when Lana had left. ‘That looked intense.’
‘Yes, poor kid. She’s pregnant and wants to miscarry.’
Kate put her hand to her heart. ‘We are going to have to be strong ourselves doing this, aren’t we?’
‘We are, but how wonderful she felt safe enough to confide in me. We are going to do so much good, here, Kate. I suddenly feel I have a purpose.’ Gracie welled up. Kate squeezed her hand tightly.
Gracie cleared her throat and her voice lightened. ‘I think that went rather well, don’t you?’
‘It did. A big pat on the back for us both.’ Kate grinned and headed off the kitchen.
A male voice interrupted Gracie’s thoughts. ‘And how could it not be a success with you at the helm.’
Gracie’s voice shook. ‘Lewis, what are you doing here?’ He looked more handsome than she had remembered with his blue eyes matching his shirt. His tanned face, bringing out his bright smile. She also noticed the bags under his eyes and felt a sense of sadness enveloping him. Her heart began to beat at one hundred miles an hour.
‘I saw a flyer in the post office with your name on it. I knew you were here. Gracie, I cannot stop thinking about you.’
A vision of him proposing flashed through her mind. Gracie gulped. ‘I’m so sorry I ran away from you.’
At that moment Ed screeched up on his quad bike and walked over towards them.
He smacked her on the bottom. ‘So many people! See, I told you you’d be brilliant. Celebrations later, I reckon.’ He noticed Lewis. ‘All right, mate?’
Feeling Lewis’s pain, Gracie cringed. ‘Ed, this is Lewis.’
‘Ah, the infamous Lewis, no less?’
Wishing that the ground would swallow her up, Gracie slowly nodded.
Lewis’s face was contorted. ‘Didn’t take you long, did it, Gracie? Well, fuck you. I’ll leave you to… get on with it with your…’ He looked Ed up and down. ‘Your gardener.’ He marched towards his car.
