‘But I really felt close to Ed, then, too. What’s wrong with me?’ Gracie let out another sob.
‘Nothing, nothing is wrong with you.’ Noms continued to soothe.
Gracie pulled away and sat down at the kitchen table. Noms put the kettle on. ‘Let’s have a cuppa, eh?’ Gracie nodded. ‘And let’s get some paracetamol in you, too. It will take the edge off the pain.’
Gracie’s face screwed in anguish. ‘If only there was something you could take to get rid of emotional pain.’
Noms smiled. ‘There is – it’s called gin.’
Gracie smiled weakly back as Noms searched her messy drawer for the painkillers. ‘We’ll get you through this, darling girl, we will.’ She handed over the tablets.
‘It’s as if I move a step forward then take two back.’ Gracie blew her nose noisily.
‘And these bloody men don’t help,’ Noms stated. ‘Maybe you should go on holiday. In fact, why don’twego away somewhere hot? My treat. It’s half term next week.’
‘Noms, you can’t keep spending money on me.’
‘Who says I can’t?’
Gracie groaned. ‘But what about Miscarriage Matters?’
‘Gracie Davies matters more.’ Noms put two teabags in their favourite mugs, and poured on boiling water. ‘You’re just creating obstacles now.’
Gracie sighed. ‘I don’t want to let Kate down.’
‘Kate will understand,’ Noms replied gently. ‘You can start the marketing this week for dates when we get back. You need to put a distance between what has happened and a new start, I reckon. I don’t know why the both of you didn’t go away after the hysterectomy.’
‘Because we couldn’t afford it then, but I guess you’re right.’ Gracie felt tempted. The thought of some hot sun on her face. Escaping into a book, forgetting everythingwouldbe blissful.
Noms took the milk from the fridge. ‘I know I’m right, and Jack will love having you around. He gets a bit bored when it’s just the two of us.’
‘What am I going to do about Lewis?’
‘Lewis is a grown up, Gracie. If he does love you and you him, love will win. Let him wait. Let him worry. He’s all you’ve known for the past seven years and a lot of that time has been tainted with sadness. It will do him good, too, to take stock and think about what he’s done.’
Gracie blew her nose loudly again. ‘Do you think that maybe he doesn’t really want to spend the rest of his life with me, then? Just feels sorry for what happened.’
‘I don’t know, Gracie. And right now you’re not ready to take him back, whatever the situation. As time goes on you’ll either get over him or realise you want to forgive him, but not yet. I know you so well. You’ve lost trust.’
Noms placed their drinks down on the table and sat down.
‘Yes, I have.’ Gracie sighed again. ‘Not so long ago, I felt our relationship was so… so clean, in a way. It was so comforting to have to know one hundred per cent that neither of us had ever been unfaithful.’ Gracie adjusted the bandage on her arm. ‘I do really like Ed, though, you know.’
‘Well, that’s great. But don’t jump into anything just because he’s showing you attention. Maybe get to know him a little better first.’
‘When did you become so wise?’ Gracie became animated. ‘I want to see him before we go away.’
Noms laughed. ‘Soweare going, then?’
‘Looks that way.’ Gracie grinned and took a drink of tea.
‘And yes, give Ed a chance. From what you’ve said tonight, he does seem like a decent bloke, but just be mindful, OK?’
Gracie took a deep, more measured breath. ‘Yes, I saw him differently tonight. He’s a charmer but he has a good heart. He was so kind after me telling him I couldn’t have kids.’
‘I think you need to stop making that such a big deal, Grace. You’ve just met the bloke. Start playing it a bit cool. If Lewis isn’t the one, then there will be plenty more Eds, I expect.’
‘Don’t say that. I don’t want to be constantly on the search for men.’
