Never one for procrastination and with an all-night free pass, Scott scrolled down to the M’s in his phone.
He didn’t want complication, but his ‘little bird’ knew just how to turn him on and while she was happy, too, who was he to complain?
THIRTY-FIVE
Lewis was feeling sicker than the night that Gracie had caught him out. There was just so much he wanted to say to her and he knew this was his last chance not to fuck things up.
He regretted every single moment of the infidelity. He could barely remember the sex, as he had been so drunk. He had not seen Annalize since, thankfully. He hated to think of the hurt it must have caused Gracie having to face her at work. That was if she had gone back to work. He hated that he didn’t know what his lover of seven years was doing. Seeing her the other night with her hair all over the place had given him sleepless nights, imagining that she was seeing someone else. He had been drunk again then, so maybe he had just imagined it. It had become far too habitual, his drinking, since losing the babies. And even worse since Gracie had left. He should address it, but now wasn’t the right time. He needed to escape from reality.
He had chosen a little Greek restaurant in Wimbledon that he knew would be easy for Gracie to walk to from her sister’s. He hoped then she would be able to relax and have a glass of wine or two without the worry of the car.
He found a seat outside, bought a pint and sat in the spring evening sun. It had been a lovely day. Somehow everything seemed better when the sun was out. He wouldn’t let himself think that this could be the last time he would see his beautiful girl. No, it couldn’t be. He would be positive; he had played this night out for days now. It had to go his way or he didn’t know what on earth he would do with his life.
‘Hey.’ Gracie smiled and slid into the seat next to him. She looked gorgeous, in a flowery shift dress and wedges. Her lipstick matched the pink in her dress, and she was glowing from walking in the sun from Naomi’s.
‘You look amazing, Gigi.’ A lump formed in Lewis’s throat and he was frightened he might cry.
‘You’re probably wondering why I’m here,’ Gracie said.
‘I didn’t think it was for you to declare your undying love for me.’ Wondering why on earth he had said something so bloody stupid, he took a noisy slurp of beer.
‘I’ve got amazing news for us both, actually. Noms gave me a cheque to pay off all our IVF debt.’
Lewis’s eyes shone. ‘Wow. Are you sure?’
‘Of course I’m sure. She had a massive order in for some bags and wanted to share the joy.’
Lewis – along with the rest of the world – had no idea about the real source of Naomi’s money.
‘Blimey. It’s great she’s doing so well. I can’t believe this, to be honest. That’s two grand!’ Lewis raised his voice.
‘I know. I cried. It’s amazing, isn’t it?’ Gracie smiled.
‘Are you really sure, Gracie? I mean, I earn a lot more than you. I can keep paying my half. Do you not need the money?’
Gracie shook her head, her mood tightening. ‘Give it a rest, Lewis. The amount of times you threw the debt in my face when I was with you. I’ll be happy to clear it. And it’ll mean that there’s nothing keeping us together. It’ll be a clean start for us both.’
‘That’s what I’m worried about,’ Lewis said softly. He summoned the waiter over so that Gracie could order a drink.
‘This isn’t a social evening, Lewis. I wanted to tell you this news face to face. And…’ she shuffled slightly in her chair. ‘And… I wanted to say goodbye properly, I guess.’ A lump rose in her throat.
‘You could easily have done that over the phone.’ He noticed the look on her face and quickly put his hand on hers. ‘But I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you didn’t. I miss you so much, Gracie, it hurts.’
She pulled her hand away as the waiter delivered her wine. ‘You should have thought of that before you betrayed me, shouldn’t you?’
‘I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything. What can I do to make you believe me?’
Gracie took a massive slurp of wine and spoke carefully. ‘It may not have meant anything to you, Lewis, but to me it meant a bloody lot.’
She took another slug of her drink.
‘Do you want another one?’
‘Getting me drunk won’t help,’ Gracie replied curtly.
Lewis knew this was his last chance. He needed her to know how much he cared. ‘I love you, Gracie. I will always love you. You are beautiful, funny, kind, sexy, clever. The list goes on. You light my fire, ring my bell, clatter my letterbox! And I don’t know what to do to make you forgive me.’
Gracie blinked quickly to stop tears from forming in her eyes. Why couldn’t men say these things when they were with you every day!
