‘I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I guess.’ Gracie sighed.
‘I think you’re amazingly strong. My little miscarriage is not even worth fretting over.’
‘Don’t let me ever hear you saying that again, Kate Johnson. You’ve still suffered a loss; you are grieving. Five weeks, five months, it makes no difference. You have still lost that life you were going to bring into the world. It’s a huge thing for a woman to go through physically and mentally – heartbreaking, in fact.’
‘I wish everyone understood like you do. It’s like it’s a taboo subject. Stiff upper lip and all that. And then when you do start talking about it, so many women come out of the woodwork, having had miscarriages too.’
‘One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. I bet you didn’t know that?’ Gracie felt back in control.
‘No, I didn’t. That’s incredible.’ Kate sniffed then took another sip of coffee.
‘I’m the guru on losing-baby facts,’ Gracie added. ‘I wallowed in misery and self-pity while I was recovering from the hysterectomy.’
‘I can’t even imagine. You poor thing.’
Gracie had held it together for once. She definitely did feel stronger and, at last, that she had a real purpose. She took a slurp of her milky coffee, and put her hand on Kate’s. ‘You, my new friend, have just given me a great idea.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. I know we need to talk business, but this room already has its first club booked.’
‘It has?’ Kate looked sceptical.
‘I am going to set up a support group. We owe it to our lost babies, at least. Their little energies are still flying around causing mischief, I’m sure. We need to acknowledge that.’
Gracie was excited now.
‘We can have tea and coffee – or vodka and gin, if required. Eat cake and chat about losing babies and how we’re all feeling. It may sound macabre but it’s very necessary, I think. A women’s group with a difference. If it’s OK with you, we could keep it under the SW19 Club banner. We could combine it with exercise classes, too? They’re so important for mental health. I wanted to cling on to my baby weight but it’s not the way forward.’
Kate looked animated. ‘Yes, and we can still do other stuff, like bring small companies in to sell nice gifts, maybe offer talks from experts or people who’ve been through similar experiences.’
‘Yes, yes, yes!’ Gracie was on a roll; she could really see this working. ‘We can charge a token amount for the tea and coffee and then, if people want to come in – my sister, for example, makes and sells amazing handbags – they can pay a fee for renting a table.’
‘It sounds bloody perfect, Gracie. It’s a brilliant idea.’ Kate’s eyes were shining.
‘We can run it weekly. Maybe alternate an afternoon with an early evening, then we are catering for working mums, too.’
‘You’re so thoughtful, Gracie.’
‘It’s not all about ladies who lunch, you know, Kate.’ Gracie gave her a wry smile.
‘I know. I’ve been very blessed not having to work, but blessedandbored to be honest. Can I help you set this up?’
‘Of course you can!’ Gracie enthused. ‘Hopefully, it will help you get through this dark time. And I know it’s a cliché, and you are still feeling raw, but timeisa healer.’
Kate smiled. ‘Gracie, you are a complete star.’
Gracie grinned, then said, ‘Do you know, I thought you were uptight and unapproachable when I first met you.’
‘I probably am. I need someone like you to get my feet back on the ground. Let’s talk turkey, so to speak. I would love to make this whole project work for us both.’ Kate lifted her coffee cup and put it next to Gracie’s. ‘Cheers to the new and reformed SW19 Club.’
Gracie smiled widely. ‘Cheers, partner.’
THIRTY
Scott passed a grey-bearded fellow carrying a rucksack with a lemon logo on the stairs to Maya’s flat. He recognised the logo from one of Gracie’s T-shirts. Another visitor. He hoped Maya wasn’t going to be too tired to fuck him now.
She opened the door wearing just a mac and thigh-high boots. He could feel a stirring already.
