‘I guess it’s the realisation that my choice of men is going to be limited now that I can’t have children. I’m struggling with where I fit in. The pattern is that people meet, fall in love, have a family, have grandchildren, die. I’m bouncing around in my no-womb state without any of that focus or structure to my life. Do you see what I mean?’
‘Shit,’ Scott said.
‘Do you think it’s as bad as that?’ Gracie opened her eyes suddenly.
‘Not at all, I’m sorry. I just spilt my coffee.’
Scott hadn’t spilt his coffee at all. He’d remembered why the name Ed Duke was familiar. He didn’t think Gracie’s new boyfriend had been lying about his phone. Cynthia had taken the phone of the guy she was representing in a rape case to go through the text messages that the prosecution had had access to, so that she was ready for everything they were going to throw at her. He felt terrible. Clearly, he could say nothing to Gracie – ethically his wife shouldn’t have told him. But here in front of him was the sweetest girl – and she could be about to date somebody currently accused of rape.
‘So, do you understand how I’m feeling?’ Gracie prompted.
Scott’s mind was all over the place. ‘I do, Gracie. As to the issue of structure, it is tough, I agree. Maybe a career change is what you need, some sort of new focus to occupy you? Or a new hobby? Concentrate on you rather than a new man. For now, maybe reconsider your date.’
‘Oh. I was looking forward to it.’ Gracie screwed up her face in confusion. The professor had never advised her on what do with her life to this degree before.
‘Do you believe he lost his phone?’
‘Yes. I don’t think he’s a player. I believed him.’
‘Well, maybe don’t rush into sleeping with him. Protect yourself. I mean, it is only weeks since you left Lewis. You are still grieving for that relationship.’ Scott did his best to stay on the same level.
‘Maya – my mate from Marcy’s café – thinks if you fall off one horse, you should get on another.’
‘Maya?’ Scott’s voice had gone up an octave.
Gracie sat up and swung her legs so that she was now sitting on the chaise. Scott discreetly put a textbook over the racing paper.
‘Yes, have I not mentioned her before? We exercise together. She really makes me laugh. And she thinks I should have sex with the gardener tomorrow night.’
‘No! You mustn’t.’ He was aware that he sounded far too stern and wasn’t maintaining his usual professional detachment.
It didn’t seem as though Maya had divulged any secrets about their dalliance. Or had she? He wondered if his lover knew that Gracie was coming to him. And of course, he couldn’t mention Gracie to Maya as he had to honour his client’s confidentiality. It was getting more and more complicated by the minute. He would need a stiff drink when this was over.
‘You’ve never told me what to do or not do before,’ Gracie said boldly.
Scott tried to steer back to a professional footing.
‘I’m sorry, Gracie. I just want you to protect yourself. I was worried that you’re still fragile. You need someone with a lot of love to make you feel special. Not a short-term sexual relationship.’
‘You’re probably right, but I do like Ed. Having sex is important for me now. I need to break away fully from Lewis and I think this will help.’
‘I disagree but I’m not here to tell you what to do. Please be safe.’
‘Of course, I will use a condom,’ There was a pause. ‘I actually can’t believe we are having this conversation!’ Gracie was wide-eyed. ‘I’m nearly bloody forty.’
‘I didn’t mean safe in that way, Gracie. Just look afteryourself.’ Scott’s voice wavered.
Gracie smiled. ‘Another good thing happened today.’
‘Go on.’ Scott now had a look of fear on his face. ‘There’s more?’
‘I met a woman – one of the runners at the club – who has asked if I would consider arranging events in the function room behind the café at the common.’
‘Brilliant! Like I said earlier, a new challenge would do you good. Could you keep your current job running, too?’
‘Maybe, I guess it depends on how much I can make with this new venture. I’m meeting Kate – she’s the café lady – tomorrow morning to discuss details. I’m excited about it.’
‘That’s really great, Gracie. So it’s a big day tomorrow, then?’
