‘A group of strangers who will understand a whole lot more than most about your situation.’
‘I guess.’ Vic sighed.
‘Go along and see how you feel. Maybe it’ll be good to get a different perspective, to understand how others have dealt with all sorts, not just relationships.’
‘OK. Thanks, Mand. I just needed your wise reassurance. I’m going to go.’
‘Aww, well, good luck, and be sure to fill me in.’
‘Will do. Love you, mate.’
‘Love you right back.’
Vic checked her phone for messages, then threw it onto the bed. She picked it up again, then cast it back to the duvet. Then, with a shake of her shoulders and a firm ‘Just do it,’ she slid the handset open and started to text.
Queen Victoria here. I’m around from 8ish tonight, if you fancied meeting up for a drink?
Jerico’s reply was instant.
Queen V! I’m working until 8. I’ll text you a pub in or near to Slough when I find one I like. 8.15 perfect.
Vic screamed, then did a little dance around her bedroom. The drop-in centre was in Slough, so that worked well.
She sat down at her dressing table and began to put her make-up on. With the initial euphoria of the date that she had bravelyorchestrated worn off, and realising that tonight’s session might not give her all the answers she needed, she began to go over and over in her head what she might say – and, more scarily, how Jerico might react. She cleared her throat and spoke aloud into the mirror.
‘So, Jerico, I have something to tell you. I like you. In fact, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since our kiss by the river. But I am HIV-positive. Which I know sounds scary, but…’
Vic groaned. Why would anyone want to take on someone with HIV, if they had a choice? Maybe it was better not to say anything, and spare him the awkwardness of having to be nice to her so as not to hurt her feelings. And then if he did friend-zone her, which was highly likely, could she just be his friend? Like Orla said, she didn’t think she could. On the other hand, the thought of not seeing him again was too much to bear. But she’d want to rip his clothes off all the time, so that wouldn’t work either. She groaned again. He might not even want her, anyway. It had been just a kiss, and yes he had come to Brighton, too, and bought all her display paintings, but his friend lived in Hove down the road anyway, so it wasn’t actually that much of an effort. Maybe she had just imagined how she thought he felt about her, as a safety net to her sanity and her now-single status.
She picked up her favourite red lipstick. With her upper lip complete, she moved to the lower one, filling in the centre first before blending outwards. She pressed her lips together gently, ensuring the colour was evenly distributed.
With war-paint on, she looked at her reflection and took a deep breath. She felt an unexpected surge of determination. She was ready.
Vic was greeted at the door of Hope Cottage by a very smileyChrissie. ‘Ah, Victoria, isn’t it? Long time no see. It’s great to have you back. You doing OK?’
‘Yes, yes. You?’
‘All good in my stable, thank you for asking.’
Vic beamed back. ‘Good, good.’
‘Any plans for the long weekend?’
‘No, I’m just going with the flow,’ Vic said with little enthusiasm, realising that small talk really wasn’t her thing and half-wishing she hadn’t bothered to come. ‘So, what’s on the agenda for tonight, then, Chrissie?’
‘“Agenda” makes it sound dead posh.’ The support worker’s dirty laugh was infectious. ‘It’s really not. People turn up around now. My Doug will put some tea, coffee and biscuits in the dining room and then I’ll kick off the session. Not sure if you’re aware, but we have a counsellor coming tonight, to talk about HIV and relationships.’
‘Yes, I did know about that part. That’s why… why I thought I’d come tonight.’ Vic suddenly felt anxious. ‘I’m a bit nervous actually.’
Chrissie put her hand on Vic’s shoulder. ‘You’ve got this, kid. And we’ve all got your back here, whenever you need us. You’re not on your own.’
‘What time are they arriving, then?’
‘He’ll join us all around seven for an hour max. Then once you’ve had a chat amongst yourselves, then you’re free to stay, go, do whatever you please.’
‘How many are you expecting?’
‘As we advertise ourselves as a drop-in centre, we never know. It’s the Wednesday before a Bank Holiday weekend, and I’m not sure if that will affect numbers. Might do, but you’ll be able to ask more questions yourself if that’s the case. Be a real shame if the turnout is poor, as the boss upstairs says this fella is dead good and you’re the only one here at the moment.’
