‘I mean, who gets pregnancy cravings for pickled onions and lime milkshake? I bet there’s not a single real lime in it, either,’ Mandy ranted as the three musketeers sat in her bright and airy kitchen.
‘Onions are good for you, though,’ Orla said loyally.
‘Poor Steve,’ Vic added, looking at Orla. ‘She trumps like an elephant at the best of times.’
Orla and Vic fell about laughing. Mandy shook her head. ‘Children, I’m doing pizza and garlic bread for tea, if that’s all right. I couldn’t be bothered to mess about.’
‘Perfect,’ Orla declared.
‘Where is Steve, anyway?’ Vic popped open a bottle of wine.
‘Working away tonight. Hence me actually making some kind of effort for myfriends.’
Vic filled her and Orla’s glass then cleared her throat. ‘I’ve got something to tell you all.’
‘That sounds ominous.’ Orla took a large slug of wine. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yes, yes I’m fine.’ Vic smiled weakly. ‘It’s just, Nate has asked me to go and live with him in the Lakes. Wants us to try again, says he loves me and can’t be without me.’
‘Wow. OK.’ Mandy took a sip of her fizzy water.
Orla jumped in. ‘The same Nate who said he didn’t want to be with you just a few months ago. Who turned his back on you when you really needed him?’
‘I’m not going,’ Vic said softly. ‘I need time to think. Because also…’ She sighed deeply. ‘I kissed Jerico Flint.’
‘Jerico Flint?’ Mandy screwed her face up. ‘He sounds like an actor, with a name like that.’
‘He’s a client of Ray’s. I do illustrations for his book covers, but he actually does look like he could be on the set of a film.’ Vic smiled as she thought about him. ‘He’s handsome and clever – so quick-witted and fun, really fun. He doesn’t seem to realise just how hot he is, and I love that about him too.’
‘Listen to you. I’ve never heard you talk about Nate like that once.’ Orla topped up her own wine glass. ‘And just kissed, you say?’
‘Yes, just kissed. I can’t be with him either, though, girls. Actually, I could, but I can’t tell him. Because I really like him. And if he can’t cope with the HIV then I’m scared I might lose him, and I don’t want him to look at me as this tainted woman. I want him to see me as me – just Victoria; just me – without this fucking-awful time bomb of a virus.’ Tears pricked Vic’s eyes.
‘Oh, darling.’ Orla squeezed her hand. ‘But what if he’s totally cool about it?’
‘I don’t think I can bear to take that chance.’
‘Well, you can just see him and not have sex with him – be friends?’ Mandy suggested innocently.
‘She can’t,’ Orla replied wisely. ‘You really like him; I can tell.’
Vic nodded. ‘But then there’s Nate.’
‘You’re not in love with him, are you?’ Orla sighed.
‘But does that really matter?’ Vic breathed out noisily. ‘We could have a good life. It would be OK, and maybe OK is as good as it gets now.’
‘No!’ Orla banged her hand down on the table. ‘Be careful not to compromise what you want long term, in favour of what you want or feel you need right now.’
‘Wow, that’s very profound, Orla.’ Mandy got up to turn the oven on.
‘My therapist actually said it to me the other day.’
‘Ray said that to me as well, in so many words,’ Vic added.
Orla looked smug. ‘See.’
‘I’m so glad you’ve decided to have therapy.’ Vic smiled.
