‘Ah, OK. So informal, then?’
‘Yes. We do have a circle session around the dining table on the last Wednesday of the month, where people come in and share whatever is on their mind. Sometimes we have a guest speaker to talk about health or wealth or whatever the boss thinks may be of use to our service-users. That’s what we call you, by the way: a service-user. You don’t have to book, and one of the volunteers usually hosts it.’
‘Ah, OK.’ Vic nodded. ‘Handy to know.’
‘You found us all right, then?’ Chrissie’s voice lifted.
‘Yes, yes. I got a taxi. Easy to find the road, though not the house – I expected a sign of some sort, I guess.’
‘Yes, we keep it low-key here now. Used to have one, but some stupid cock decided to spray paint the fence with abuse.’
Vic bit her lip. ‘I hate this side of it.’
‘Let’s sit.’ The women sat down opposite each other in the dining room. Vic noticed that the walls were blank, apart from a poster saying ‘Help yourself’ and an arrow pointing down to a huge basket of condoms and what Vic assumed must be femidoms.
‘Here at Positive Hope, we’re doing our best to stop the stigma, but it’s a tough job, unfortunately, and as we are a charity, we have to work hard to keep the funds coming in. We are always putting the message out to try and combat it, but it ain’t easy.’
‘Good for you, but hearing that makes me so angry.’ Vic sighed. ‘I keep repeating this, but if I was sat here with any other illness, people would be feeling sorry for me, not making me feel like a total outcast.’
Chrissie sighed. ‘Yes, but I do think the cause of that fearand ignorance is clear. Granted, back in the eighties, the treatments weren’t there, and a lot of people were dying, so we did need the public to be as informed and aware as possible. But although successful in its messaging, the lingering shock from those tombstone ads around the virus didn’t help. Along with the association with the gay community, the ignorance and bigotry carries on and, sadly, the path from that to the continuing stigma is well trodden, I’m afraid to say.’
‘I guess I need to just be as informed as I can,’ Vic added.
‘Or just keep away from the idiots who aren’t.’ Chrissie put her hand over her mouth as she coughed. ‘How did you hear of us, by the way?’
‘A leaflet.’ Vic thought back to how a leaflet for this place had randomly come through the door at her mother’s with a bunch of other junk mail. ‘I spoke to another lady – I can’t remember her name now – about coming today. I took a day off work. I’m staying at my mum’s tonight.’
‘You don’t live around here, then?’
‘Does that matter?’ Vic replied, more defensively than she meant to.
‘Not at all. Hope Cottage is an open house.’
‘I live in London. At the moment, anyway. I did think about going to the Lighthouse but I liked the idea of this being small and personal, and it’s not far from Mum’s, so…’
‘Well, it’s a big well done for coming. I can’t imagine it’s easy. Do you want to tell me your story?’ Chrissie looked Vic right in the eye.
‘I was diagnosed just before Christmas.’ Tears hit the back of Victoria’s eyes. ‘Condom split. The guy I slept with didn’t know he was positive.’
Chrissie tutted. ‘Oh, Victoria. That really is a tough one to swallow.’
‘Yeah.’ Vic let out a huge sigh. ‘I always try and see the goodin a situation. Like there’s a reason for everything, you know? But I’m struggling with this one.’
‘Trust in the timing of your life, Victoria. One day, you’ll see, and I’d bet good money on that.’
‘I like that.’ Vic smiled and repeated, ‘Trust in the timing of your life.’
‘Are you in a relationship now, Vic?’
‘No.Heleft me when I told him.’
Chrissie’s face dropped. She put her arm on Vic’s. ‘Oh, love. You really have been through it, haven’t you.’ Her voice then lilted. ‘All I can say is, don’t rush to find love, because I can imagine that’s a lot of what’s on your mind right now.’
‘Yes and no. Nobody will want me. I have to face that.’
‘If you think like that, then of course they won’t. Be patient. Love is blind. He’ll walk through the door when you’re least expecting it. I bet you.’
Vic raised her eyebrows. ‘I didn’t put you down as a romantic, Chrissie.’
