‘Well, you’re both creative, so you have something in common, at least. Talking of which, howisthe gorgeousNate? Did he manage to escape the dreaded lurgy?’
Ouch!Vic recoiled inwardly. ‘Surprisingly, yes.’ She sighed, not wanting her judgemental colleague to know anything further. For despite working with Penny Clayton for the past three years, there had never been closeness enough between them to trust Penny with anything more than surface-level chatter.
She would tell Ray about Nate, but not before Christmas. It was all too much to relive what had been happening, and the new year might bring a whole new story anyway.
As she sat back at her desk, she heard a text ping into her phone. It was the sexual health clinic asking her to come back infor a face-to-face appointment at four p.m. the next day. A feeling of panic enveloped her.
Ray, who was heading off to see the accountant, caught a glimpse of her expression. ‘You all right, Vic? You’ve gone a bit pale.’
‘Fine, fine. But I did forget to tell you I need to leave at three thirty tomorrow, as umm…’ She dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘As, umm… I’ve got a smear test.’
‘Honestly!’ Ray grimaced. ‘Give me strength!’ Throwing both arms in the air as he strode towards the door, he shouted back to her. ‘And that’s it, you can chuck the discrimination book at me. I don’t care. Iamemploying only men – and handsome ones at that – forthwith!’
NINE
LONDON
The Diagnosis
Victoria could confidently say December the twentieth, 2005, was the longest day in her whole thirty-five years on the planet.
With a feeling of dread in her stomach, heavy and dense as a block of lead, she got off the bus and followed the same steps she had taken just two weeks before. That morning, she had tried to concentrate on creating a mailshot for an ice-cream company but had ended up just drinking back-to-back cups of coffee and staring at her computer screen. What she had found out the night before, and what was worrying her the most, was that chlamydia could remain asymptomatic, and there was a chance, if that were the case, that it could affect a woman’s fertility.
Vic felt a sense of relief at the familiarity of seeing the same grey-haired nurse who had examined her sitting behind the glass-fronted reception desk.
‘Hi, I’m Victoria Sharpe. I got a text about an appointment today.’
‘Oh, Victoria, hello.’ Muttering something to her colleague, the woman came out from behind the desk. ‘This way, please.’
With a pounding heart, Vic followed her into a small treatment room. As well as an examination bed and sink, a table flanked by two chairs housed a variety of leaflets and a box of tissues.
The nurse ushered Vic to sit down, then joined her at the table. ‘I’m Sandra Bellows, and I’m one of the sexual health practitioners here. We didn’t get the chance to share full introductions before.’
‘No – just some bodily fluids,’ Vic joked, then blew out a huge breath. ‘I know why I’m here. It’s chlamydia, isn’t it?’
The nurse closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. ‘I’m not sugar-coating this in any way, Victoria. All of your tests have come back, and you are showing as HIV-positive.’
Victoria felt the blood drain from every single part of her body.
‘Sorry. What did you say?’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I think you must have made a terrible mistake.’
‘I’m afraid not,’ the nurse said, her expression concerned and kind.
‘HIV? No!’ Vic put her hand over her mouth in horror, then burst into tears.
Sandra put one hand on her shoulder and passed her a tissue with the other.
‘No! You’re wrong. It’s gay men who mainly get it, isn’t it? Or people in Africa? Name me one woman who has it!’ Vic pulled at her hair. ‘Oh my God, oh my God, does this mean I’m going to die? Oh my God.’ She stood up and started pacing around. ‘Oh fuck! How? Does this mean I’ll get AIDS?’ She sat down again.
When she had quietened down, Sandra spoke in a calm and deliberate voice. ‘You will get the best treatment there is at theChelsea and Westminster. I can promise you that. We are going to look after you. OK?’
Vic was inconsolable. ‘How can I have HIV, though? I’ve had the same boyfriend for six years.’ She shut her eyes for a second and her thoughts turned to Danny. But they had used a condom, so it was impossible that he could have given it to her, surely.
‘Your assigned consultant will be able to answer all your questions,’ the nurse replied in a soothing tone.
Victoria sniffed loudly, feeling sick to her stomach and desperately wishing for this not to be real. ‘Am I going to die, Sandra? I’m so scared.’ She gripped the woman’s hand. ‘I just can’t believe this is happening to me.’
‘Would you like to call somebody?’ Sandra’s voice was as soft as it was strong. ‘It’s fine, I can leave the room if you want to do that.’
