‘No. You know the life plan: I want to retire at fifty-five.’ Her frown didn’t go unnoticed. ‘But, not so many dinners out, more planned holidays with you and without the phone on. I will delegate more. I need to cut down on the booze because if I hadn’t been pissed, what happened wouldn’t have happened and we’d still be together.’
‘Yes let’s blame good old Jack Daniels, shall we? He’s such a cad, leads everyone astray.’ She screwed her face up. ‘Except those men who have the upmost respect for their partners, that is. Isshestill in the flat?’
‘Yes,sheis.’ Dominic sighed deeply. ‘Look, I haven’t driven for six hours for the fun of it. I loveyou, Sabrina. I don’t love her. I hardly know the girl. And that’s all she is: a girl. She is a pretty face who is carrying my child. If there was no baby, there would be no ‘us’.
‘So, there is an ‘us’ with you and her then?’ Despite everything, the pain of reality felt like a thousand knives turning in her heart.
‘I can’t abandon her, not yet. Her English is good, but she’s young and never been to London before, and I don’t want her working. Not at the moment.’
‘She’s pregnant, not sick, Dom.’
‘Sabrina! Listen to me.’
‘No, you listen to me. I assumed the plan was you find a place for her and support her. Isn’t that the French way, anyway– the majority of men over there take a mistress, don’t they? She’ll be expecting it.’
‘I’m not here to argue with you. And it’s not as if you didn’t shag someone else here in this very cottage. Eurghh, I just realised that I’m sleeping in the same bed, too– if you did it in the bed, that is.’ Dom grimaced.
‘Do you have to be so vile? It was just sex, Dom. Payback sex because I hated you and I hated myself. And the reason I hated myself was for not being good enough for you.’ Sabrina started to cry. Dom rushed around to her side of the table, scooped her up and held her in his arms.
‘And it was just sex for me, too. You know that. A stupid, stupid mistake.’ Dom ran his hands through his floppy silver fringe. ‘I will do anything to get you back. Life is not the same without you. It’s shallow and boring and dull. Give me a second chance, please. Let me show you I can change. And as for being good enough for me, you make me a better version of myself, every day.’
Sabrina pulled away, grabbed a tissue from her bag and blew her nose. ‘I don’t want you to change. You are you and you’ve spent a lot of years being you.’
‘So, how long do you plan to stay down here on holiday, then, Sabrina? Surely you’re missing London. You can’t have bought any news clothes for at least a month either.’
Sabrina rolled her eyes. ‘It’s Cornwall, not the bloody moon. They do have shops and online shopping here, too, you know.’ Sabrina extricated herself from his arms, went to the sink and got herself a glass of water.
‘Why did you come here, Dom?’
‘You know why. I just told you. To ask you to come home. Well, I need to get Francois out first, which as soon as you say you are coming back to me, I will, I promise.’
‘Keep all your options open, Dom. You wouldn’t want to be alone now, would you.’
‘Stop, Sabrina, just stop.’ He walked towards her and grabbed her to him again. The touch and smell of familiarity caused her to gasp, and the tears to continue. Dominic turned his face to kiss her, but she moved away, forcing him to nuzzle into her neck, which caused her to make a little groaning noise.
‘See, you love that, don’t you?’ Dom said breathily.
‘I do,’ she said, her own breath now coming in pants.
‘I want you so much, Sabrina.’ She could feel him hardening against her. The pull of lust became unbearable. Until–
‘No!’ She pushed him away. ‘No, Dom. No.’ She ran to the bathroom, locked the door and sat on the toilet.
After ten minutes she came out to Dom looking through emails on his phone. He put the handset down on the table. ‘You felt it, too. I know you did.’
‘I’ve never stopped loving you, Dominic Best, and with that comes all the trimmings that love brings. But what I have stopped doing is respecting you, and now it’s time to start respecting myself.’
‘Oh, darling, listen to me.’ Dom stood up. ‘Give me one more chance. I will show you how I can change. I will make sure that Francois is out of the flat. Maybe you just need some time to think. I will give you as long as you need, but I can’t lose you. You are too special a person.’
‘I don’t know. I feel so confused.’ Sabrina put her hand to her forehead and in sudden recollection, shouted out. ‘Fuck! Yes! You touched my friend up for god’s sake, too.’
‘What are you on about?’
‘Dee told me.’
‘Oh, that. Dee was drunk. I know she doesn’t like me, so anything to cause trouble. It was a mere friendly tap on her bottom.’
‘Alcohol can’t be used as an excuse for everything you do wrong,’ Sabrina shouted then began pacing around the kitchen. ‘What am I thinking? Would I ever be able to trust you again? I don’t know…’
