‘Where isyourhome, Dickens?’
Sabrina sniffed back tears. She spoke quietly. ‘I don’t know, yet.’
Conor put his hand on her knee. ‘You had the rug pulled right out from under you, didn’t you?’
‘That’s the problem. A lot of my stuff is still in the London flat we shared. Not that I care about that per se. And if I’m honest with you, I never saw that as our forever home. Dom has big retirement plans, but he also had a terrible fault of never living in the moment. It was all about the big future, the big dream. My plan was to get married and ditch the acting so I could start an acting school. Thatwasmy big dream.’
‘And why can’t you still follow that?’
‘I have to admit that Dom was my security, as I had looked into it and needed a big chunk of money upfront if I wanted to set something up in the city. That’s not to say that the money was why I wanted to marry him, of course. It was just a bonus. I also need to get my head around being single again. It was a bit of a shock, him shagging a waitress, you know. More fool me for relying on a man.’
‘Look at me putting my size nines in it. I read all that, too, and I’m so sorry.’
Sabrina sighed. ‘I guess my real home was with my family in North London. I wanted for nothing there, apart from my mum to be mentally well and my dad not to be at work quite so much. But therewaslove. We used to come down here on holiday, to that beach.’ She pointed down to a tiny strip of sand in the distance. ‘Hence my pull to here and the honeymoon cottage, I guess. I had my first kiss here too– my very first holiday romance, in fact. Cried for days when I got home. He lived in Manchester, so it was never going to go anywhere.’
‘Aw, that’s cute and sounds idyllic.’
‘Ironically, it was the one year that we didn’t come here, that my brother decided to cliff dive and damage his brain and my mum, reasoning that if we’d been here, it never would have happened, blamed herself. A logic I could never quite understand, but she was mentally ill and the stress and guilt of it, led her to commit suicide.’
‘Jesus.’ Conor put his arm around her. ‘You poor, darling, angel.’ He pulled her in close. ‘How the feck do you ever get over that?’
‘You don’t. I must try and fill the emptiness with love evidently. And I’m realising that shallow, adoring love from fans or from an ex-fiancé who never really knew me isn’t cutting the mustard on that front anymore.’
Conor gave her one huge squeeze, then helped her up. He grasped both of her hands and held them to his chest. His eyes met hers. ‘What would you say if I said I really wanted to kiss you, right now?’
Sabrina felt the butterflies in her tummy start to come alive again. ‘I’d say it might make things a little complicated.’
‘And does that matter? I really like you, Dickens. From the minute I set eyes on you, I felt an attraction. There’s something about you. You’re an incredible person.’
Sabrina made a little groaning noise and pulled away from him. ‘Oh God, we can’t. I can’t.’
Conor smiled sadly. ‘Why not?’
‘I’m scared.’ Sabrina’s voice was childlike. She felt like she wanted to run and never stop running.
‘Of what, darling girl.’
‘Of getting hurt, of fucking up, as losing you as a friend as to be honest you are the best wing man any girl could want. It’s not you, I just… I just don’t think it’s the right time. I just…’
Conor pointed to a lone yacht on the horizon. ‘See that boat over there.’
Sabrina nodded. ‘It’s free in the wind, but it will come back to its harbour and be safe. I will wait for you in our harbour, Dickens. Because even though you don’t feel it at the moment, I’ve never been so certain of a connection like this in all my life.’ He pulled her to him, hugged her tightly, then kissed the top of her head. ‘And the reason I will wait for you, is because you are so worth waiting for.’
She pulled away and looked into his eyes. ‘And you Conor Brady are a beautiful man.’
They began to walk back down to the car park. ‘I know what else I meant to ask you.’
‘Go on.’ Sabrina grabbed Conor’s arm as she lost her footing on some loose stones.
‘See, you are falling for me already, so you are.’ They both laughed. ‘Yeah, Dee asked you earlier if you were going to tell me something?’
‘Oh. Umm. You heard…’
‘You know you can tell me anything.’ Conor softly squeezed her hand.
Sabrina grimaced. ‘You have to promise you won’t do anything to get me into any trouble if I tell you.’
Conor sighed. ‘Please trust me. I’m not Dominic, or Lowen, or any of the other men who have treated you badly. My word stands.’
