‘Or to what, Mr Kellow?’ Sabrina seductively looked over the top of her glasses at him. She was sure she could see him redden. She pulled a pen from her bag, scribbled on the edge of the card he had given her, ripped it off and handed it over.
‘I must go. Sorry again about the coffee. And let me take this book, it’s cluttering up the place. She quickly shoved the battered copy ofA Christmas Carolinto her handbag.
And with that Sabrina Swift, aka Sabrina Valentine and now Jilly Dickens, hotfooted it down the hill, leaving the usually cocksure Lowen Kellow with a somewhat bemused smile on his face and a slight stirring in his nether regions.
The sun was about to set over Penrigan Head when Sabrina eventually got back to Kevrinek Cottage. Seabirds on the wing made tiny black silhouettes against the stunning hues of red, pink and orange striping through the evening sky. The hypnotic sound of the sea gently rushing up against the rocks was one that she would never tire of.
Sabrina started to run a bath, then turning on the television for background noise, put her food shopping away and decided that she would make up the hamper for Isaac and Belle tomorrow and take it down to the main house in the morning.
Lying on her bed, she first called Simon to see how he was doing and checked with his carers that he wasn’t in need of anything, then began to draft and re-draft a message to Dominic. After five minutes, she jumped up to turn her now full bath off and came back to lie on the soft white duvet. Shutting her eyes for inspiration, a vision of her wayward partner ran through her mind. He was handsome in a classic way. Silver white, perfectly cut hair. Hazel eyes with lashes far longer than hers. Big features that suited his big personality and six-foot frame. And at forty-nine, although slightly soft bellied due to the amount of drinks receptions and dinners he went to, he was still extremely attractive for his age. He also knew that he had ‘the allure’. Men of the worst kind, with egos as big as their dicks.
More fool her to think she had tamed Dominic Best’s wild ways. And now she was back in the quiet cottage with just her thoughts for company, and despite knowing all this, she still felt the dreadful pang of missing him. And when she felt low like this, there was usually only one person she would go to who would understand. Throwing the handset to the end of the bed, she went to her suitcase. Tucked in the front pocket was a blue envelope containing a well fingered piece of paper which she took out, lay back on the bed and started to read it for the five hundredth time since the day she had found it five years ago, the day that she had screamed until she had no breath left in her lungs. The day she realised that her life was never going to be the same again.
My darling daughter,
I have to go. The pain I feel for ruining your brother’s life is too much to bear. I should have stopped him from jumping… but I didn’t. I always heard that losing a child was the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, and it is. It really is. I know he’s not dead, but he is really, in my mind anyway. The home he is in is outstanding and the trust your father and I have set up for him will free you from worry about making sure he’s safe for your whole life. You don’t have to worry about me now, either. Your dad is a good man. He will be there for you. I know he will. You gave me such joy. Even in my darkest moments, that smile of yours lit up a room. You are a shining star and an amazing actress. I am so proud of you and what you’ve achieved, and I hope you find a true love that is deserving of you. A few things before I go:
-Always have something to do, something to love and something to hope for
-If a man shows you he’s a loser, believe it
-Follow your heart and you won’t get lost
-Take chances!
-Be your beautiful unique self
-Some people are going to reject you because you shine too bright for them, but you ignore them and just keep shining, my girl.
Please don’t cry for me, darling girl, for wherever I am going frees me from the terrible pain I feel every day. I’m no fun to be around. I’m a burden and this black dog of depression is too hard to bear now.
Love forever.
Your mum X
Sabrina folded the letter and replaced it carefully in her suitcase, then stripped naked and walked through to the bathroom. Stepping into the old-fashioned free-standing bath, she lay back and shut her eyes. As the hot bubbles began to ease her whirring mind and tired legs, she began to mull over the three very important and life changing decisions she was about to make.
Chapter Ten
Belle knocked loudly on the door of Kevrinek Cottage. She saw the shutter twitch in Sabrina’s bedroom. She knocked again. No reply. Then with a concerned face, she turned the key in the door. She walked slowly through to the bedroom to find a pyjama wearing Sabrina, curled up in the foetal position, her face tear-stained and sorrow ridden.
‘Oh, my darling girl. I know the key I have is just for emergencies, but this felt like one. I also don’t want you to think I’ve been stalking you, but late last night the camera alerted us that someone was outside the cottage in the darkness. Then I made out it was you sat outside at the end of the garden, head in hands. What’s happened, Sabrina?’ The nurse’s voice was soft and gentle.
Sabrina started to sob. Belle put down the box she was carrying, took off her shoes and lay down behind her new friend holding her tightly like a big spoon. When her crying eventually subsided, Sabrina sat up, reached for the tissues by her bed and rested her head on the headboard. Belle sat up next to her and held her hand.
‘I just made some cherry scones.’ Belle nodded to the box she had brought in with her. ‘I can’t eat the whole lot alone.’ Sabrina managed a watery smile as her friend got off the bed. ‘Let me make some coffee and you can tell me what’s going on.’
Still in bed with hot drink in hand, Sabrina sniffed loudly. ‘I messaged Dominic and told him it was definitely over.’
‘Woah. You did it over text?’
‘Oh Belle, please don’t judge me– not today, anyway.’
‘Sorry, sorry, I have a habit of not thinking before I speak. Are you sure this is what you want, Sabrina?’
‘No, I’m not sure at all but I can’t talk to him. I know it would end up in a screaming match– on my side, anyway. It’s all too raw.’
‘What did he reply?’
