‘It’s not black and white mother.’
‘Is it ever?’ The wise woman smiled.
‘I think I love Jack and knowing that I can’t be with him does break my heart. But he is still with his girlfriend and he thinks this is Conor’s baby.’ Star cradled her bump.
‘Oh, Steren.’ Estelle Bligh’s voice cracked with emotion as her daughter went on.
‘I could also say he was the shaker too, as he stirred up sexual feelings I had long buried and thought I would never experience again. Conor took and shook up the mantle ably on that front to make me realise what I’d been missing onan intimacy level, too. And what a lovely, kind guy to hold me through it. I hope I haven’t hurt him. If I have, he hasn’t shown it.’ Star sighed deeply. ‘Mum, what should I do?’
‘Oh, darling. Tell Jack the truth. Then it’s up to him what he does with it. You can’t live a lie like I did for all those years. I loved your father. I loved him so deeply. I should have shouted louder for his time; despite his sacrifice.’ Her voice tailed off. ‘But I put him first, instead of meandyou.’
‘That is so sad.’ Star put her hand on her mother’s knee. ‘But what if Jack doesn’t care?’
Lyrics from Enya’s haunting ‘May it Be’ filled the room. The two women’s sapphire-blue eyes locked in understanding. ‘Then at least you know.’
Star got into her car and waved back to her smiling mum, who had come out on to the decking to see her off. She automatically checked her phone for messages but remembering the signal was so rubbish at the static home park she threw it back in her bag. As she parked up behind her shop, a couple of texts beeped in. One was Kara saying she hoped everything had gone well with Estelle, and the other was from Jack. Star’s heart leaped with anticipation.
And then, just as quickly, her heart plummeted a million miles to the bottom of an ocean of depression. She cried out in pain at the heartless message. ‘Getting married? No! No!No!’
