‘And as for my looks, I kind of think they’ve been a hindrance. I want someone to see the real me. What’s beneath the veneer. Love me warts and all. Does that make sense?’
‘Is that why the most serious relationship you’ve had was with Danny Ball when you were fifteen, do you think?’
‘Thanks for that, Kara. Just because you and Billy the Kid are now love’s young dream.’
Kara saw the misery in her friend’s sapphire-blue eyes. ‘Oh, Star, I’m sorry. I’m not exactly the guru on relationships, am I? I mean, how long did it take me to get rid of bloody Jago and then to realise Billy was The One, hey?’ She puther hand on top of her friend’s. ‘I do understand about Skye though.’
‘How could you understand?’ Star said hotly. ‘You can’t, Kar. Not until you’ve had a child yourself will you get it. Skye has been my life: Ihaveto do right by her. As a single parent, even more so. I remained single out of choice. I didn’t want to bring in a man who might have interrupted her life and disturbed it. I had enough of that with Mum whilst I was growing up – a stream of deadbeats and bullies coming in and out of our lives. I don’t know, maybe it’s now that Skye doesn’t need me like she used to, I feel a loss of purpose.’
‘Oh, mate,’ Kara said, ‘you’re right. I don’t understand fully, but I’m glad you’ve told me so I can hopefully support you through what you’re feeling.’
‘She’s also started to ask more questions about her dad too.’
Kara’s eyes widened. ‘Are you going to tell her the truth?’
‘You know I can’t, not yet.’ Star produced a tissue from her sleeve and blew her nose. Pushing her plate away from her, her face pained, she added, ‘Also …’
‘Go on,’ Kara urged.
‘I know it was just a one-off with Jack in the summer, but he was the only man I’ve felt anything for in a long time. I still think about him.’ Star paused. ‘A lot. Am I mad, Kar, for still hankering after him?’
‘Not mad, no. What was it he said to make you go all girly when you first met at the market that day? “The heart has its reasons which reason knows not”, or something like that?’
Star poked out her lip. ‘Blaise Pascal. What a quote – and well remembered, mate! I just know he really liked me, and I still can’t comprehend why, when you saw him in NewYork and he had a broken arm and bruises, that he said to say sorry tome. There are so many unanswered questions. But he still hasn’t responded to any of my messages.’ Star looked at the clock on the wall. ‘I’d better get back.’ She pulled on her midnight-blue long velvet coat and white cashmere beanie.
Kara got set to leave too. ‘Dear old Grandad Harry used to say that when you are going through life’s tough stuff, to say to yourself, “this too shall pass”. God, I miss him.’
‘I know you do,’ Star said. ‘And that too will pass, or get easier with time, at least. When I think of dear old Uncle Jim, what gets me through is realising how lucky I was to have him and memories of him and Auntie Flo both. Good memories. I just need to believe that the universe will work its magic if me and Jack are meant to be, and in the meantime, maybe you and my mum are right. Perhaps it is time to think of Steren Bligh’s wants and needs right now.’
As Star waved and shut the door of STAR Crystals & Jewellery behind her, Kara saw her boyfriend Billy Dillon and his twin brother, Darren, carrying a mattress across the road towards the staircase that led up to the flat above Passion Flowers.
‘Ah, there you are, sweet cheeks,’ Billy Dillon called over.
‘All right, Moony?’ The bald and chunky Darren Dillon was puffed out.
‘What are you doing with that mattress, you two?’ Kara wanted to know.
‘Frank asked if Daz had a spare bed at his place,’ Billyexplained, ‘so I’ve quickly run up to help him move my old one into here.’
‘Ah, right. He doesn’t mess about, does he, Big Frank.’
Billy wiped his sweaty brow. ‘And when exactly were you going to tell me you had a mystery man moving into the shop flat, eh?’
‘I only found out myself a few hours ago.’
‘Well, just get that gorgeous aris of yours up those stairs and open the flat door for us, will ya,’ Billy said cheekily. ‘This mattress is bleedin’ heavy and I don’t want to do meself a damage.’
