Kaius’s grip trembled, and he leaned closer, whispering, “I knew.”
I refused to look away from his bright green eyes as the conflicted emotions he was feeling flashed through them. Hurt. Anger. Heartbreak. Each one was more devastating than the last as they continued to loop through his mind. The tears that had moments ago burned my lash line were now streaming down my face, but it didn’t stop me from lifting my chin in defiance at him as I waited for the end to come.
I would not beg this man for my life, not before and not now that I held feelings for him. The gun shook slightly with his next words. “I knew, Acelynn. From the start, I knew you were using us for your own gain, whether that was protection or something else. No one strikes a deal with the Knights without an underlying bit of selfishness. But I had no proof. Vincent called it, and I told him that he was paranoid. I let my guard down as you captivated every single one of us. I let myself fall in love with you.”
“Do you think I had a choice?” I bared my teeth at him. The silence around us stretched thin, and I took the opportunity to reach up toward the hand that held the gun. His finger rested loosely on the trigger, and I curled my own over his in the small space. “I never had a choice in this, Kai.”
The nickname slipped past my lips before I could stop it. His entire body flinched. I don’t know why I called him that. I never had before, but there was something so familiar to it when itrolled off my tongue. I continued my speech. “I was sitting in an interrogation room and was given two options: rot in a jail cell for the murder of my family or become their informant. That was it. I chose survival.”
His dark eyes narrowed on me, fury raging in them, but I continued. “I don’t regret what we have or meeting any of you because somehow, in the most fucked up way, this healed me. I was so angry when I came to this bar with the mission of destroying everything you held dear, but then I met each of them, and I couldn’t help letting them in. So no, I don’t regret coming here and taking from each of you.”
Kaius leaned in, the ghost of his lips tracing my bruised ones. “But you do have one regret. I can see it in your eyes, kitten.”
“Yes.” I sucked in a shaky breath, my words brushing against his. “My one regret is losing it all because I was so blinded by a promise to people who never loved me. My family wanted to marry me off, use me, control me. My own brother was more interested in destroying you than in my safety in the end. I never felt loved by them, but didn’t know that at the time. I thought loyalty was a form of love, but it’s not. I now know how a real family loves, no matter if you are blood, and I’m sorry for destroying that.”
I curled my finger around his tighter, my eyes never leaving his as I squeezed down on the trigger and waited for the world to fade away from me.
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
kaius
The hollow clickof the empty chamber echoed in the silence between us, louder than thunder. Acelynn froze, waiting for the end that would never come. I’d never loaded the gun in the first place. With a sharp curse, I tore the barrel away from her temple and shoved it back into my waistband. My chest heaved with rage I didn’t know how to direct—at her, at myself, at the fucked-up world that had landed us here.
“Have you lost your damn mind?” I roared, my voice cracking through the quiet.
She didn’t flinch. Didn’t even blink. Those icy eyes locked on mine like she’d already made peace with death, like I hadn’t just offered her a second chance at breathing. Acelynn lashed out, palm landing its blow on my cheek. My head snapped sideways from the force of it, the sting sinking bone deep. Before I could recover, she was on me, fists hammering against my chest. Blowafter blow, all the fury, heartbreak, and grief she had buried clawed its way out of her.
Her sobs tore through me worse than her fists. Raw, jagged, and full of the kind of pain you don’t recover from. I let her hit me, let her rage pour out until I couldn’t take it anymore. My hands shot forward, catching both her wrists in an iron grip.
“Enough,” I growled, yanking her against me.
She didn’t fight me this time. Her body crumpled, collapsing into mine like she was finally too tired to keep carrying the weight of it all. I pressed my face into the crown of her head, breathing her in, holding her like I could shield her from the past, from the truth, from me.
“Let it out, kitten,” I murmured, softer now. My voice vibrated against her hairline, my lips tracing over her skin like a prayer I didn’t deserve to say.
I don’t know how long we stood in that spot as Acelynn released all her pent-up emotions from a lifetime worth of lies. She may not know the full extent of them, but there was a part of her soul that was tired of being in the dark. Acelynn was finally feeling everything she had repressed. And I was honored to be the man to hold her through it all. My lips traced her hairline again as her sobs bled out into broken hiccups, her breathing evening out against my chest.
Her voice was hoarse when it finally came. “I have to leave Lovelen, don’t I?”
The right answer was yes. The good answer. The one that a King of the Knights should give, to protect the club, to protect what was mine. But the truth? The truth was, I wanted to chain her here forever, consequences be damned.
“Yes.” The word left me flat, void of all the emotion clawing inside my chest. “But not until you find what you lost for me.”
She pulled away, slow, deliberate. My arms ached from the loss. Watching her walk toward the door felt like someone wasdragging barbed wire through my ribcage. I knew down to the marrow of my bones I’d never hold her again. Never find someone who would fill this gaping wound, this hole she tore through my heart, and is leaving me with. I knew this would change me, making me just as cold and heartless as my fucking father.
“You will be the bargaining chip that is used to get my sister back. Logan wants you. We all know this, and I will be ready to hand-deliver you to him when he calls.”
The color in Acelynn’s face drained, but it had to be done. I had to make her never want to return to this bar. Make her hate me. I stepped forward, hand latching around her throat and squeezing just enough that a squeak left her lips.
I smirked. “And if you manage to slip your way out of this one, I don’t want to ever see your fucking face in my town again. You are officially out of cards, Emersyn Spade.”
She paused at the doorway, one hand braced against the frame. Her head dipped, just enough for me to see the tremble in her shoulders. When she finally spoke, her voice cracked. “Will you answer one question for me before I leave, Kaius?”
“Anything.”
Her eyes found mine, broken and fierce all at once. “Why would you agree to marry someone you had never met? For all you knew, I could’ve been a raging bitch. Or worse, not your type.”
The corner of my mouth twitched despite myself. “You are definitely neither of those things.”
