But I don't want to feel.
A sound escapes me, part laugh, part sigh, heavy with exhaustion and disbelief. I pull the blanket higher, curling into it like it might shield me from the truth I’ve been trying to ignore. The house is too quiet. The night is too long. And sleep feels like another trap I can’t escape.
My chest tightens as I close my eyes, the image of Thane’s face etched into the back of my eyelids—the way he looked at me tonight, not with pity, not even with guilt, but something else. Something raw.
I shake my head hard, as if I can throw the thought away.
The only reason I’m going through with this is to entertain my curiosity and figure out what my nightmares mean, and to see if what they’re saying about me is true.
A witch?
It’s highly unlikely. But I can’t explain the things I’ve been seeing, the things I’ve been feeling.
The only way I can figure out if any of it is true is if I stick around. I might not mate with Thane and unlock my powers—if I even have them to begin with—but Rissa can tell me more.
I just have to be open to it this time.
A sigh slips from my lips as I finally settle into the quiet. My fingers twitch once against the blanket, and in the darkness, beneath the thin layer of fabric, a faint golden shimmer dances across my skin. It fades before I can see it, leaving only warmth in its wake. But the coldness of my horror remains, keeping me restless through the night.
Something tells me that this is something I can't escape.
Chapter 9 - Thane
In a matter of two days, my life has changed drastically, and where there was once hopelessness now lies a feeling of confusion about the future.
When Brooks and Rissa brought the news of their shared vision and a mystery woman who was the fourth witch in the prophecy and my fated, true mate, I didn't suspect that it might be the woman who got away—Willow.
I thought I'd buried the memory of her years ago when I returned to Girdwood as a sub-alpha of Snehvolk, but fate had other plans. Perhaps, subconsciously, I knew Willow Barker was my fated mate, but I just couldn't see it until I found her again.
Now, I'm supposed to enter a mate bond with her through an official ceremony, and I'm not sure what to expect. Last night, after I heard her crying restlessly in her sleep, we shared a moment when I woke her, and she touched my cheek.
But that moment was snatched like a rug pulled from under me when she shut down and became numb again—something I've noticed she's capable of doing. One moment, there's life in her eyes, emotions, feelings, and the next, her eyes became blank orbs of blue, as vast and endless as the ocean, as empty as the uncharted depths.
Gulping and pulling myself from my thoughts, I glance over at my fellow alphas, Dawson and Brooks, seated on the benches in front, while a few other trusted pack members attend as witnesses to this mate bond. As I’m the only sub-alpha without a beta, Elias is beside me, wearing a joyous smile as if I'm not freaking out internally.
This is meant to be a joyous occasion, but something about it just doesn't feel right. Perhaps it's because it hardly feels organic; it's forced.
And the last thing I wanted to do was force Willow into anything, especially since she'd been somewhat of a prisoner in Blood Claw. But I don't have much of a choice when the demons are approaching again.
A sighting was reported in Whittier just last night, and Willow's powers need to be unlocked so we can complete the ritual the witches have seen in their visions—the ritual that is meant to help baby Emile seal the gates leading to the underworld for good.
Between the alphas of Snehvolk and the witches who are their mates, none of us know how Elias's child will be the key to sealing the gates, but what we do know is that we need all four witches on board so that when the time arises, we're all prepared.
The only trouble is that I have no idea how I'm supposed to help Willow unlock her mystic powers when I've agreed to enter this mate bond with the promise of not touching her.
Her powers are meant to be unlocked through mating, not just the mating ceremony that's only completed as a formality.
Taking a deep breath, I give Alpha Elias a curt nod before turning to the back doors of the pack den. The mating ceremony would have taken place in the main hall, but with Willow's reluctance, along with having to hide this from my grandfather, we decided to go through with the ceremony in the den.
Grandfather Charles despises omegas, and I can only imagine his disdain when he discovers that Willow is awolflessomega, at least until Willow emerges as a witch.
She'll have a hand in saving our pack, and my grandfather will have no choice but to accept her as my mate. Until then, I'll have to live it down and figure out how to woo Willow.
I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, and I'm about to plummet into the rock when Willow enters the pack den with Rissa. The other witches—Yvonne and Luna Aurora—turn to Willow and smile, but her hard expression means she's closed off again.
It's hard to imagine that someone as breathtakingly beautiful as Willow Barker can be so cold, but it isn't even enough to stop me from dragging my eyes over the dress she's wearing. Clad in white silk, she flaunts curves that were not as noticeable as when I first found her in Seward. A rush of heat floods my being when I meet her eyes, and for the first time since she returned, I catch a glimpse of the young woman lost to my misgivings of the past.
I see the old Willow, wide-eyed and curious and openly innocent about the world. Like a pure dove who only needs to be protected, I remember the same look in her eyes the night she revealed her feelings for me, and I rejected her.
