“You don’t talk much. Not at our shared dinners, not when we’re together. The most talkative you got was when we were-”
“And that’s still more than anyone in town has gotten. You’ve gotten to see what life is like with us. You’ve heard about my ex-wife, you’ve heard me talk about the farm, the future I want for Liam, about more than most people,” he admits. “And getting close to you, really letting you in more than that ...”
Finally, he meets my eyes and for the first time, I don’t see the composed and sure man I’ve gotten familiar with. I see someone who’s on the edge of too many emotions and can’t control them.
“If I let you in, let myself care about you, I’ll risk losing my entire self, my sanity, my sense of safety all over again,” he finishes.
“And if you don’t let anyone in, you’re going to be alone. Liam will go off to college and start his own life and you will be alone. You won’t lose anything if you don’t let others in, but you’ll stagnate,” I whisper. “And I won’t fight you for the sake of the relationship we could have.”
His throat works again and he finally puts his hands down, away from his face. “You terrify me and entrance me at the same time.”
My head cocks to the side while he continues. “I love how you are with Liam, what I feel when I’m around you, but I feel more exposed than I have since my wife died. I feel raw. I ... the more I feel for you, the harder it is to stay in control. I need to be in control so we don’t get hurt, so you don’t get hurt, so I don’t get hurt.”
“I alreadyamhurt. You left before I woke up. The things you said to me are still in my ears and I believed you,” I say evenly, pushing my anger and bitterness to the back. It won’t help.
He moves closer, his thigh brushing mine. “I’m not good with words. I’m not, but you ... you make this house feel like more. A home and seeing you with Liam, how good you are with him, with his garden, with your games, talking with him like he’s more than a child. And I hate that I love it, that I like your presence. It terrifies me.”
My mouth opens and closes.
“I care so much about you. Seeing you in that river, I thought I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get you. Being in bed with you, talking with you after, hearing how you plan your world ... telling you about the future I saw. I didn’t want to fall asleep. Then I woke up and it was real. All of it, because you were still with me and ...”
“And what, Cole?”
He gently touches my face, guiding me closer to him. His thumb moves across my cheek, closer and closer to my mouth each time until he’s nearly whispering. “I’m terrified because I can’t imagine you not here, not in my life, missing fromourlives.”
I shudder and lick my top lip which means I nearly lick his too.
He doesn’t pull away, keeps studying my eyes with a mix of the feral intensity I got to know in bed and the raw nervousness and threadbare desire that only works in moments like this. His lips gently brush mine, slow, tender, but I let out a soft whine and melt against him.
He kisses me deeper, slower, as if he’s savoring the moment, as if we have years to enjoy just one kiss. He pours every emotion he’s buried or hidden into me like hehasto share it even if he can’t verbalize it.
I draw back and look at him, studying his eyes. “Just because I’m younger doesn’t mean I can’t handle things like this. It doesn’t mean I’m just going to leave. I want to be here, Cole. Just let me be.”
“Sofia,” he groans, kissing me again, just as languidly. Every roll of his tongue, the way he adjusts against me, pulling me onto his lap, all of it is deeper, more emotionally intense, more raw. He strokes through my hair, guides his hands over my body, along the sides of my breasts, over my ribs, my hips, my thighs, then gently pushes my dress up. “I meant everything I said to you.”
“Did you?” I whisper. “Or was it just to have me?”
“Let me show you how much I care for you,” he says before claiming my mouth in a deeper and hungrier kiss, one that’s so consuming and overwhelming that all I can do is take it. He’s not being rough, he’s just not hiding anything, not holding back anymore and that itself is over the top.
Chapter 10 - Cole
Kissing her like this, embracing her, holding her, all of it is pure fucking magic. She isn’t pulling away. She isn’t hesitating, she’s wrapping her arms around me, holding me, kissing me back desperately, eagerly.
“Cole,” she half-moans my name between kisses.
“Don’t forgive me yet,” I pant. “Because if you keep saying my name like that ...” it tugs at something needy and desperate inside me. It does more than make me hard, it threatens to ruin me.
“Cole,” she pants. “If you can’t tell ... show.”
Her eyes and those damn gold flecks, like she’s fucking treasure. I moan softly and nibble her neck, kiss further down, lick across her collarbone and guide her bra strap and the sleeve of her dress down.
“I’ll show you whatever you want,” I promise.
“Your bedroom would be a good ... a really good start,” she answers, trembling slightly.
That’s all it takes for me to lift her up. I keep kissing her throat, keep devouring her moans. It’s half so we don’t wake upLiam, half because I want to feel them vibrate across my tongue, for her to feed her pleasure to me.
Stripping her should be a fucking art because she’s a masterpiece. Every piece of clothing I peel off her means there’s more of her to kiss, to touch, to enjoy.
