“Look at me,” he whispers, and I do, locking my gaze with his as we move together. There’s nowhere to hide in this moment, no more walls standing between us. Just Josh and me, writing a new beginning in the language of skin and breath and heartbeats.
All my fears and holdups melt under his kisses and touches until all that’s left of me is love and pleasure. When the wave breaks, it’s not just my body that comes undone—it’s every defense I’ve built against loving again, against hoping for a future I wasn’t sure I deserved.
* * *
Afterward, we lie tangled together on the living room floor, both of us breathing hard, sweat cooling on our skin. Josh’s head rests on my chest, his weight welcome. It anchors me, steadying the rush of emotions that could overwhelm me.
“You okay?” He drops a kiss to my collarbone.
I run my fingers through the soft hair of his chest, marveling at how right this feels. “Better than okay. I’m… happy.”
The word is foreign on my tongue, a language I’ve forgotten how to speak. But it’s true. For the first time in four years, happiness doesn’t come with an asterisk, doesn’t feel like something I’m stealing or borrowing. It just is.
Josh lifts his head, propping his chin on my sternum to look at me. His gaze so hopeful it hurts. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I stroke his cheek. “You make me happy, Josh Collins. And a little brave.”
He smiles, that crooked, beautiful smile that cracked my heart open from the start. “Brave enough to let me stay tonight?”
I think about Penny, safe at Josie’s for the weekend. About how much I don’t want to be alone right now. About how right it feels to have Josh in my space, in my life. In my heart.
“Yes,” I tell him, kissing the tip of his nose. “Stay. Not just tonight. Stay for as long as you want.”
“What if I want forever?” he asks, the question both playful and deadly serious.
Forever is a big word, one neither of us controls—we don’t know how much time we’ll get, if we’ll always want to spend it together. But right now, with Josh’s arms around me and his heartbeat steady against mine, it doesn’t feel impossible anymore.
“Then I’m sorry.”
He frowns. “Why?”
I brush my lips against his forehead to smooth out the crease between his brows. “You unpacked all those boxes, and now you’ll have to pack everything up again and move it in here.”
His answering smile is brighter than the sun, and as he leans down to kiss me again, all the pieces of my past and my present finally fit together.
31
JOSH
The sunlight filters through Lily’s curtains, painting her bedroom in a dreamlike golden glow. I trace lazy patterns on her bare shoulder as she sleeps beside me, her honey-blonde hair splayed across the pillow, her breathing deep and even. Yesterday was surreal, a day so perfect I’m afraid to move and shatter the illusion. Or to wake up and discover it was all a dream and I’m in my bed alone.
But Lily stirs: here, real, mine. Her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks before she opens those hazel eyes that knock the wind out of me every time they meet mine. Her lips lift into a sleepy smile that ropes me in.
“Hey,” she whispers, voice rough with sleep.
“Hey yourself,” I reply, my hand still tracing the curve of her shoulder, the dip of her collarbone, the smooth expanse of skin that I’ve spent the last several hours memorizing with my fingertips, my lips. “Sleep okay?”
She stretches like a cat, all languid movements and quiet sighs. “Better than I have in years.” She rolls onto her side to face me, propping her head on her hand. “What time is it?”
I glance at the clock on her nightstand. “Almost nine.”
“Josie is bringing Penny back at two.” A hint of worry creeps into her voice.
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger against her cheek. “Are you nervous?”
“A little. It’s a big change for her. For all of us.”
“We don’t have to tell her everything at once,” I offer. “We can ease her into it.”
