“Make mine Irish,” I call after him as he heads to the kitchen.
“At this hour, I’ll make it decaf.” He winks and leaves me alone with my sister, who follows me to the couch, plopping down beside me with a bounce that says Josie is settling in for a lengthy session. “Is Josh the reason for…” She wiggles her fingers at me like she’s casting a spell. “The glowy look?”
“I’m not glowy,” I retort. “It’s sunburn. We went hiking yesterday.”
“Hiking? You went out with him?” Josie’s eyes widen with delighted shock. “Is that why you’re radiating sexual tension from three blocks away?”
“Hilarious.” I roll my eyes. “It was just a hike. And the pier today.”
“You took him to Santa Monica?” Josie’s voice rises an octave. “Romantic much?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I blurt. “He’s new to LA. I was showing him around. We’re friends.”
“Uh-huh,” she crows, gleeful. “When are you going on a second date?” Josie makes a face. “Or would that be a third date?”
“Never,” I say.
“Why?”
I rub my temples, where a headache is throbbing to life. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dorian comes back with three mugs and gives Josie a subtle eyebrow lift, his silent plea not to be a complete monster. Josie ignores him and continues her onslaught.
“Too late.” She scoots closer. “I met him, so now you have to tell me.”
She’s relentless; she’s never going to leave me alone.
“What do you want me to say, Josie?” I snap. “That I hung out with him this weekend? Fine, I did. And it was great. I had the best time in forever, and it made me forget why I’m not supposed to be happy.”
Josie blinks, startled by my outburst.
“And then we watched a movie and fell asleep on my couch, and I had a nervous breakdown on him this morning because he wanted to make me breakfast and that was Daniel’s thing.” My voice cracks, but I push on, unable to stop the torrent of words now that they’ve started. “So yeah. Happy now?”
Josie stares at me, stupefied, while Dorian maintains a careful neutrality, keeping himself out of the sister standoff.
“First off,” Josie says after a moment, her voice gentle, “you are definitely supposed to be happy and live your life guilt-free. You can’t be stuck in the past forever.”
I cross my arms, heat building behind my eyes.
“And Josh didn’t seem scared by your meltdown over breakfast. He acted like a puppy wagging his tail, waiting for a scrap of your attention. There would be nothing wrong with dating someone new.”
My agitation mounts, pressure building in my chest, I’m a shaken soda can ready to explode. “I’m not dating Josh.”
“Why not?” Josie presses. “He’s hot, seemshandy, and he was great with Penny. And?—”
I don’t let her finish. The pressure explodes outward. “Because he’s the new fucking lieutenant at the station Daniel worked at, and I’m never going to date another man who’ll risk his life every day and come back to me in a pile of ashes one night!”
The words echo in the silent room. I hide my face in my hands as tears begin to flow, my body shaking with sobs I can’t control. Now that I’ve let the grief out once, it’s like I can’t contain it anymore; it’s flooding out of me in messy, ugly waves.
“Oh, Lily,” Josie murmurs, coming to my side and wrapping her arms around me. She pulls me against her, one hand making soothing circles on my back. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
I try to speak but can only nod, tears streaming down my face.
“So, he’s a firefighter.” She sighs.
I nod again, still crying.
“It sucks,” she says simply.
