Because it wasn’t. It would never be enough. And she’d told him as much when she’d finally found her voice, when she’d managed to fix her clothes and face him with what little dignity she had left.
The memory made her chest ache.
“This is what I can give ye. This passion. This protection. This… devotion to yer pleasure, to yer safety, to yer happiness. Why is it nae enough?”
“Because I want yer heart, too, me Laird.”
She’d left before he could respond. Before she could see whatever expression crossed his face at her use of his title rather than his name. Before she could change her mind and tell him that maybe it could be enough, that maybe she could learn to live with half of what she wanted.
But she couldn’t. She’d witnessed her parents’ marriage, had seen what real love looked like, and she couldn’t settle for less. Not even to save her own life.
So she’d hidden in her chambers for two days, taking her meals alone, avoiding everyone, including Rufus, who’d knocked several times with increasing concern. She’d told the maids she was preparing for the wedding, but in truth, she was trying to gather the strength to go through with it.
To marry a man who wanted her but wouldn’t love her.
A knock at the door made her jump, the needle piercing the fabric with such force that it sent the embroidery hoop flying.
“I’m fine,” she called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in her voice. “I daenae need anythin'.”
The door opened anyway.
Leona turned, a sharp rebuke on the tip of her tongue, then stopped. These weren’t the maids or Rufus coming to check on her for the dozenth time.
Two women stood in the doorway, both beautiful, both watching her with open curiosity and bright smiles.
“Lady Leona?” the younger one asked, her voice warm and enthusiastic. “We’re sorry to intrude, but we simply couldnae wait any longer. I’m Ailis, and this is me sister, Kristen. We’re Murdock’s sisters.”
Leona stood quickly, smoothing her skirts with hands that trembled slightly. “His sisters. Of course. I… forgive me, I didnae ken ye were comin'.”
“Neither did Murdock, from what we’ve gathered,” Kristen said with a laugh as she entered the room. She was slightly older and more reserved than Ailis, but her eyes held genuine warmth. “Hamish invited us. Said our brother was getting married, and it would be a shame if his family missed it.”
“We’ve been travelin' for two days straight,” Ailis added, practically bouncing into the room. “The roads were terrible,and I swear every rock in the Highlands found its way under our wagon wheels. But we’re here now, and just in time!”
She moved to the window, looking out at the courtyard below, where preparations were clearly underway.
“Look at all of this! The flowers, the ribbons. Cook must be overwhelmed by all the food she has to prepare. Is she still making those honey cakes? The ones with the crystallized ginger?”
“I… I daenae ken,” Leona admitted. “I’ve nae been very involved in the preparations.”
“Too nervous?” Kristen asked kindly, lowering herself into a chair. “I remember me weddin' day. Could barely eat for a week beforehand.”
“The entire clan is buzzin' with excitement,” Ailis continued, still at the window. “We passed dozens of people on our way in, all talking about the weddin'. Some of the younger lasses were practically swoonin' over how romantic it all is. The fierce Laird, finally tamed by love.” She turned back with a grin. “Though between ye and me, I daenae think Murdock has ever been tamed by anythin'.”
“Certainly nae by sense or reason,” Kristen added dryly. “Our brother is as stubborn as they come.”
Ailis laughed. “Do ye remember when he decided he could jump the creek on that half-feral horse? Broke his arm in three places and still insisted on tryin' again the next week.”
“Maither was furious,” Kristen said, her voice softening slightly. “That was shortly before she… well…” She paused, something unreadable crossing her face.
“But ye ken Murdock. Once he sets his mind to somethin', there’s nay stoppin' him.” Ailis’s expression shuttered for just a moment before she recovered with a bright smile.
“Speakin' of which,” she said, moving closer to examine the wedding gown that hung near the wardrobe. “Is this what ye’re wearin'? Oh, it’s beautiful! Look at the lacework on the bodice. The seamstresses here are truly talented.”
She ran her fingers over the fabric with clear appreciation. “And the color suits ye perfectly. The cream with the blue undertones. Very elegant. Much better than the pure white everyone seems to favor these days. White shows every speck of dust.”
“Ailis has opinions about fashion,” Kristen explained with obvious affection. “She redesigned every gown in her wardrobe the year after she married Killian.”
“Because they were all terrible,” Ailis protested. “Dark, heavy things that made me look like I was in mournin'. I wanted color. Life. Somethin' that felt like me rather than what someone else thought I should be.”
