“What if she says nay?” he whispered.
“What if she says aye?”
Out the window, he could see movement in the courtyard. Leona, crossing toward the stables along with Rufus. Even from this distance, he could see the set of her shoulders, the careful way she held herself.
Like someone trying very hard not to break.
Tomorrow she’d be gone. Ride out of his life and back to her own castle, her own clan, her own future. A future that didn’t include him.
And he’d let her go, because that was what he did. Protected people by keeping them at arm’s length. Kept them safe by never letting them close enough to see the darkness inside him.
Except Leona had already seen it. Had watched him kill men in cold blood and still kissed his cheek. Still thanked him. Still looked at him like he was something more than a weapon.
Maybe Skye was right. He was being silly.
Or maybe he was being the coward he’d always sworn he’d never become.
“She’s leavin' tomorrow,” he said quietly, more to himself than to Skye. “At first light.”
“Then ye have until first light to change her mind.” Skye snuggled deeper into his arms. “That’s lots of time.”
Murdock looked down at his daughter, this small person who believed in him despite everything, and felt something shift in his chest.
Hope, perhaps. Or just the terrible certainty that he was about to make either the best or the worst decision of his life.
“Aye,” he murmured. “Lots of time.”
He just didn’t know if he’d have the courage to use it.
29
One week later, Leona stood at the window of her childhood bedchamber and felt nothing.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. She felt empty. Hollow. Like someone had scooped out everything vital and left only the shell behind.
Kerr Castle looked exactly as she remembered. The same gray stone walls, the same tapestries hanging in the halls, the same worn stairs she’d climbed a thousand times as a child.
Coming home should have felt like a victory. A triumph. The return of the rightful heir to reclaim what had been stolen.
Instead, it felt… wrong.
She’d arrived one week ago with Rufus, Nyx, and an escort of guards that Murdock had insisted upon. Or so Hamish hadsaid, because Murdock didn’t even come out of his study to say goodbye. So she’d accepted because refusing would have meant seeing him again, and she couldn’t bear that. Couldn’t bear to look into those dark eyes and see duty instead of desire. Obligation instead of love.
So she’d left at first light, just as she’d planned. Had squeezed Skye as tightly as she could and then she had ridden away from Ainsley Castle without looking back, even though every fiber of her being had screamed at her to turn around.
The journey had been quiet. Rufus had tried to make conversation, but she’d responded in monosyllables until he’d given up. Even Nyx had been subdued, curled up in Leona’s saddlebag and making only the occasional grumpy meow.
They’d been met at the gates by what remained of her father’s council and a handful of clan members who’d remained loyal. The welcome had been warm but cautious. Ragnall’s brief but brutal reign had left scars, and it would take time for them to heal.
Time, she now had. All the time in the world, stretching before her like an endless gray road.
“Leona?” Her mother’s voice, soft and concerned, came from the doorway. She had arrived shortly after the council sent word of their return.
Leona turned to find Isla standing there, her face creased with worry.
“Maither. I didnae hear ye come in.”
“I knocked. Twice.” Isla entered the room, gently closing the door behind her. “Ye were somewhere else entirely, I think.”
