“Enter.”
Ailis slipped inside, closing the door behind her with a soft click. She looked tired; they all did after the day’s events. But her eyes were sharp as she studied him.
“Leona is preparin' to leave,” she said without preamble. “Tomorrow mornin'. She’s already sent word to have horses readied.”
The words landed like stones in his stomach. “I see.”
“Do ye?” Ailis crossed her arms. “Because from where I’m standin'', it looks like ye’re lettin the best thing that’s ever happened to ye walk away without a fight.”
“It’s what she wants.”
“Is it? Or is it what she thinksyewant?” Ailis moved closer, her voice gentle but firm. “Murdock, I watched her in that courtyard. I saw her face when she thought Ragnall would hurt ye. That wasnae a woman who wants to leave. That was a woman afraid she’s nae wanted.”
“She kens I want her.”
“Want and love arenae the same thing.” Ailis sat on the edge of his desk. “Ye’ve told her ye desire her. Told her ye’ll protect her. But have ye told her ye love her? That she’s more than an obligation or a duty? That losin' her would destroy ye?”
Murdock looked away. “I cannae.”
“Cannae? Or willnae?”
“Both.” The admission tasted bitter. “Ailis, ye ken what’s inside me. Ye’ve seen what I’m capable of.”
“Aye, I have.” Her voice was soft. “I’ve seen ye protect the people ye love with everythin' ye have. I’ve seen ye be gentle with yer daughter even when ye’re exhausted. I’ve seen ye show mercy to men who didnae deserve it.” She paused. “And I’ve seen yepush away anyone who gets too close because ye’re terrified of becoming our faither.”
“I am terrified,” Murdock admitted. “Every day. Every time I feel too much, want too much, I wonder if this is how it started for him. If this is the beginning of the end.”
“But Murdock…” Ailis reached out to take his hand. “Ye ken better than anyone what is inside me. Ye saved me from drownin' when I was five. Remember?”
How could he forget? The sight of her small body thrashing in the water, their father holding her under, was seared into his memory.
“I remember.”
“And after, when I flinched away from ye, I saw something break in yer eyes. Still, ye protected me from that man. Every day.”
“By lockin' ye away to yer room. By scarin' ye so much ye’d rather run off with our enemy than stay with me.”
“Killian is the love of me life. And until he found me, ye protected me by any means possible. Even if I didnae realize, even when ye knew I’d blame ye, ye still did. That’s nae who Faither was. That’s who ye are.”
“But—”
“Nay. I ken what our faither wanted to plant inside ye. The rage, the need to control, the belief that love is possession. But he’s dead. Ye arenae. And ye shouldnae let life pass ye by because of him. He doesnae deserve to hold that kind of power over ye.”
Murdock wanted to believe her. Wanted to think he could separate himself from their father’s legacy, that he could love without destroying.
But the fear was bone-deep, bred into him through years of watching what happened when power and emotion mixed.
Before he could respond, the door burst open. Kristen swept in, her expression determined.
“Right,” she announced. “We’re nae lettin' this happen. Leona is upstairs cryin', ye’re down here broodin', and everyone is miserable. It’s ridiculous.”
“Kristen…” Ailis started.
“Nay, let me finish.” Kristen planted herself in front of Murdock’s desk. “When Neil and I were getting to ken each other, he made mistakes. Said stupid things. Was distant and infuriatin'.” She smiled slightly. “Sounds familiar, aye?”
Despite everything, Murdock felt his lips twitch. “Get to the point.”
“The point is, he realized he was being an idiot.”
