He smirks, shaking his head. “I don’t know about Gordy, but I know I don’t feel like I need a traditional party or to sign papers in order for a relationship to feel real or complete. But that’s a really big conversation he and I need to have, and I’m not sure if either of us is ready for that yet, okay?”
“But you love each other, right?” Tati asks.
Gannett nods. “I love himverymuch.”
I agree, “Your father means the world to me.”
The girls are all tucked into their bunks, and Gannett has just gotten done reading them a story when he takes a seat next to me by the fire. “Hey, since we’re here trying to reconnect with your mother’s past, I’ve been thinkin…”
“That’s scary,” I snark.
He smirks. “Shut up, asshole. Anyway, you mentioned that she taught you sign language. I, uh, have been thinking a lot lately about how Caleb’s been on my crew for years, and Marcus always has to interpret for him. I feel kind of ignorant that I can’t just understand him myself, you know? I’d like to learn it, I think. I owe him that much, for being such a solid dude. Could you teach me?”
“Sure,” I agree. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to use it, though, but I recall one of the ways Mom taught me when I was very young was actually by doing what you just did—telling bedtime stories.”
“Oh. Good to know. Maybe I could start there too, then.” He chuckles. “In hindsight, however, I’m not so sure reading them spooky ghost stories before bed was such a great idea,” he hums, hauling Twinkie onto his lap.
“Probably not. I’ll likely be up most of the night anyway though. I can get ‘em back to bed if they wake up scared over bumps in the night.”
“Why will you be up most of the night?” he asks, his face etched with concern.
I sigh. “Feeling pretty tense about being here now,” I admit honestly. I’ve been working on sharing with Gannett how I’m feeling, when I’m feeling it—even when those feelings aren’t good. “I don’t know if it’s the prospect of all the emotions I’m going to go through by bringing up my mother or what, but I’m worried I might have a nightmare. Having our bed not three feet away from theirs, I don’t need to scare them.”
He nods. “It could be the fear that you’ll scare them too, that could be making you more anxious…”
“Yeah. You’re probably right about that.”
He tilts his head, still staring into the flames. “You don’t have them when I’m sleeping with you. Well, none that have woken me up anyway, so you might not have to worry about it.”
“You do have that calming effect on me. Which is odd, because for literal fuckingyears, all I wanted to do was knock your perfect goddamn teeth out for being so persistant and trying to weasel your way into a friendship with me.”
He grins. “Do you know howpissedmy mom would be if you damaged these teeth? Braces weren’t cheap, even back then. And you know what? Come to think of it, I neverdidget that friendship out of it.”
“What do you mean? We’re here now, aren’t we?”
He twists his head towards me, giving me a droll look. “I canguaranteeyou friends don’t rock each other’s world—and beds—the way we do, babe. Friends are what you make like the way you have with my brother and Brooks. No, what you and I have went directly from giving each other bruises on the sparring mat to seeing who can leave morehickieson the other.”
I snort. “You make it sound like we’re just fuck buddies.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t give me that shit,” Gannett balks. “You know we’re more than just fuck buddies. All I’m saying is that we went from barely knowing a damn thing about each other, to us being intricately woven together. There was never any “buddy-buddy” going on, which isapparentlywhat I wanted all along. Caleb and Marcus were right. All that time, I was flirting, and I just didn’t see it. I really didn’t think I ever wanted another relationship.”
I nod. “And what about another marriage?”
“Are you proposing?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, we’ve just never talked about it before. Not until the girls brought it up earlier.”
“Well, I meant what I said back in the truck. I don’t need, nor do I want, a friggin’ wedding to somehow solidify that fact that I am in love with you. That’s great for whoever else wants it, but not something I feel is necessary. I can think of better ways to spend my money, other than renting tuxes—which I fuckin’ hate, by the way—and saying scripted vows.”
Silence falls between us, nothing is heard but the crackle of fire, as I mull over what he just said. I notice that I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, probably because he articulated the same exact sentiments regarding marriage as I have. I don’t need to put on a show for others to prove that I love Gannett. The only thing I need to do is put in the work to prove it to him. The fact that that’s all he wants too? Well, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief.
“Tell you what I’d like to do instead though, if you’re open to it,” he muses, breaking the silence.
“What’s that?”
His jaw flexes. “I’d like to scrub thatMastersonfrom your name, along with that junior suffix. Ideally, I’d like it to change to Waters so that everyone knows you’re mine, but beggars can’t be choosers.” Then, he snorts. “Just know if it’sGordon, we’re going to have words—because, well, Steven Stephens is still kinda laughable.”
“I thought you just said you didn’t want to get married,” I note, confused.
