With my hand still on his hip, I slide him out of the way so I can take over on the pancakes, because I highly doubt he can multitask having this conversation and creating something edible at the same time. It’s not lost on me just how—I don’t know—fuckin’ domestic this all feels this morning. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to let myself continue to have this…
I’m about to tell him as much, when his phone rings from my bedroom—well,ourbedroom—and he makes a dash for it, cutting me off. I finish up the last of the pancakes, stir up a couple glasses of chocolate milk, and get the girls started on breakfast while Gannett chats in the other room.
“Sounds great,” he says into the phone, stepping out of the room. “Give me a half hour or so to get changed, and I’ll be right over. Mmmbye.” He hangs up and glances up. “Oh good, thank you for finishing those up for me and getting them fed. Hey, can you do me another favor?” he asks me.
“Sure.”
“Could youkeep an eye on the girls for me? Just for, like, an hour or so. My landlord just called. They finished up the reno. My apartment is finally done. He’d like me to come do a walk-through before the girls and I can move back in.”
He breaks into a broad grin, and my gut sinks like stone.
He’s leaving. That smile on his face is one of pure excitement. He’sexcitedto leave.
He’s happy to be rid of me. I fucked up the one chance I had.
I fuck everything up.
I deserve this.
Confusion lines his brow. “What’s that look for? I thought you’d be happy. You finally get your apartment back.”
I clear my throat, trying to loosen the knot that’s formed there. “It’s fine. Yes, I’ll hang out with the girls. Maybe we can get their things packed up and ready to move home. Won’t that be fun? You’ll each have your own beds again.”
“But you promised…” Tati murmurs quietly, frowning over her plate of pancakes. Knowing I caused that frown—that disappointment that there won’t be a next weekendherefor her dad’s birthday—rips me to shreds.
Iamthat asshole. I am nothing but a harbinger of broken promises. Last night’s "visit" from Ryann was just a dream—a crack in my subconscious mind that guided me towards a flicker of hope that has now been snuffed out. I earned that glimmer of excitement in Gannett’s eyes at the prospect of leaving here, because of the way I went off on him last night.
I deserve to be alone, where the only one I can hurt anymore is myself.
Chapter Seventeen
February 14th
Me
Croot! Haven’t heard from you in a bit.
Wondering if you’ve got any plans for today…
Don’t worry. It’s not like a date or anything. Just my birthday.
The girls peer-pressured me into seeing if you wanted to go sledding with us…
March 17th
Me
Checking in on you, since I never heard back...
Hey, has Gulligan been around?
I came by your place to drop off some of those holiday themed snack cakes you and he seem to enjoy so much, but you weren’t there. Figured you’d at least be down serving some green beer, but nope.
Not because I’m being clingy or anything, which I’m not…
Gordy? WTF, man…
April 1st
