She giggles. “Okay. Thank you, Mr. Gordy. Ilovechocky milk.”
“Me too,” I agree. “That and snack cakes. They remind me of my mum,” I tell her as I fix us both a glass of the good stuff, rememberingthe way my mother always used to find a way to sneak me one of the treats on my birthday or on holidays. Marlin would never have permitted any kind of celebration in our house, but on those days, I’d always find a holiday themed treat hidden under the corner of my pillow.
“What is your mumma’s name?” she asks, shyly attempting conversation.
“Gordana,” I tell her.
“Are you named after her?”
I offer her a soft smile. “Something like that, yeah.”
“Where does your mumma live?”
Well, that’s a hell of a sucker punch I didn’t expect. She’s a kid, though, asking innocent questions. I’m just impressed she’s talking to me. “Heaven,” I reply, fighting back the knot in my throat.
“Oh,” Tati replies, her eyes casting downwards at her cup. “I bet she gotted there because she was a good mumma and made you chocky milk to help you sleep.”
It was ovarian cancer, but, for the sake of childhood naïvety, we’ll go with Tati’s theory. If there is such a thing as Heaven, I’m sure that my mother is there, and her ticket in would have been from all the ways she tried to bring a little light into our dark world. That’s why I legally changed my name, because if I was going to be anyone’s junior, I wanted to be her’s—nothis.
“What woke you up?” I ask, suddenly concerned that perhaps her dad and I made too much noise in the shower, and also needing to change the subject, before I break down in front of a kid.
Her little green eyes dart over to the shut bedroom door, then narrow. “Gulliganstolemy pillow! Him’s sleepin’ on it now. Terra invited him in when Daddy dozed off,” she whisper-hisses. Sure enough, when I crack open the door, the gull is napping, like a cat, on one ofthe pillows—posing no threat to Terra, who is fast asleep on the other side of the queen-sized bed the girls share.
Fuckin’ Gannett and that stupid friggin’ bird.He’s relentless about turning that thing into a household pet.
After polishing off our drinks, I offer to watch a movie with Tati, hoping that will eventually get her to doze back off on the couch. I pass her a throw blanket and scroll through the child-appropriate streaming apps on my TV, and finally settle on one titledIt Takes Twowhen Tati points giddily exclaims, “Look! Twins!”
Tati cuddles into my side, wrapping the blanket up around her shoulders. “I like dis movie,” she tells me, yawning. “Do you like it too, Mr. Gordy?”
“I’ve never seen it before,” I tell her, though it does look like it has a similar plot to a movie from my past that I’ve seen more than my fair share of times. One I watched with another little girl, one I knew as Marie, curled up at my side.Thatmovie was her mother’s favorite, but I can’t remember the name of it now...
“Do you like my daddy?” Tati peers up at me and asks, bringing me back into the moment.
Caught off guard, I blink at her. “Your daddy is a good man,” I tell her honestly. A man too good for me, and whom I should have no business wanting the way I do.
“Yeah, he is,” she agrees sagely. “But do youlikehim?” she repeats, putting more emphasis on that specific word.
I sigh, nodding. Because, underneath it all… “I do like your daddy. Very much.”
She smiles. “The next time Terra and I get to spend the night here, it will be Valentime’s Day. His birthday, too. He told us that earlier…”
“Oh yeah?”
She nods, yawning again. “Can we get him them snack cakes you said your mumma gave to you? The pink hearty ones? Those are my favorite.”
“I think we can swing it.” I grin down at her. “How about this? Plan what you want to do the next time you come over, and you, me, and Terra can throw him a special birthday party. We’ll do whatever you come up with, I promise.”
“Pinky promise?” she asks, holding up her tiny pinky.
“Pinky promise.” I wrap her finger with my own and give it a little squeeze. God, this reminds me so much of something Ryann would do…
Her eyelids start getting heavy, though the movie has just barely started. She curls up into me even more, a weak smile tipping the corners of her lips up. “I like you, Mr. Gordy. You’re nice. Not scary, like I used’ta think.”
A knot forms, causing my throat to tighten. “Thank you, Tatiana. I like you too.”
I sit and watch the movie for a little longer, unwilling to move and potentially wake the sleeping girl again. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I feel like I’m stuck in a state somewhere in-between half-lucid and half-asleep, when suddenly, I feel the couch cushion on the other side of me press downwards. I lazily will myself to look over, but the space is empty. There is a certain energy in the room I can’t quite put into words, though—like the feeling right before a lightning storm rolls in.
It wasThe Parent Trap.I can’t believe you forgot the name of it. We watched it so many times! I always did like playing matchmaker. Who’d have thunk I’d be doing it now, with my bestie, from here…
