Good. He gets that this is just an experimental hang out sesh, which will determine if we take a turn into hookup territory without me having to spell it out. Smart man.
I nod, handing him my phone. “Sounds more than fair. I think I’m open to exploring this further. I mean, worth a shot, right? I’m starting to realize that I’ve been narrow-minded for far too long. Time to learn more about myself.”
He grins, tapping his number in. “That’s the spirit,” he says, handing it back to me. “Hope to hear from you, Gannett.”
When he strides off, that’s when I notice Gordy leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. Nostrils flared and blatant perturbation in his eyes. He watched that whole interaction go down, that much is obvious. What the hell is going through his homophobic head, though? Is he going to use this information to harass me, like he did my brother?
Fuckin’ hell. Leave it to me to step right in that one, just like always.
“I’ve never been here before,” Micah notes, as we’re seated at a table near the floor-to-ceiling windows at Spinelli’s, the local Italian place. “I like the atmosphere. Getting to watch the sunset over the bay isn’t half bad either. I’ve got to say, I’m almost as shocked at your pick of eatery as I am that you texted me back. Are you sure you’ve given this enough thought, and you’re up for it?”
Oh, I’ve given it some thought, alright. Because of work, I haven’t been able to go to the gym at the same time as Gordy does this past week, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been. I have, everyday actually, mostly because I’ve been hoping to catch a minute with the hot owner who gave me his number, and to see if he’s willing to teach me—ahem—how to use his machinery. That, paired with what happened earlier today, has actually gotten me doingtoo muchthinking, and that’s, well, dangerous.
I nod. “Why, what did you expect? That I would freak out and bail?”
His head wobbles. “Well, let’s just put it this way… men your age typically aren’t open to exploring their sexuality. Especially out in the open like this in a town like Ternbay.”
My brows pinch. “You’re the one that said you wanted to get to know the place better,” I remind him. “And besides, how old do you think I am?”
He peruses me. “Late twenties, early thirties?”
I chuckle. “I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m almost thirty-four. Will be in a couple of months. I share the same birthday as Cupid.”AndEv and Brooks’ anniversary, which I’m still a little miffed over.
He grins. “Pretty sure Valentine’s Day isn’t Cupid’s birthday, but I like your sense of humor. Also, youshouldtake it as a compliment. You look good.”
“Same could be said for you. Don’t tell me, you’re so fit that you look like you’re in your mid-thirties, but you’re really some secret silver fox? Don’t think I don’t see a few grays in that freakishly hot head of hair you’ve got in there.”
He laughs and cards his fingers through it, and I can’t help but bat away the thought that he and Gordy have the same hairstyle. Just a touch longer on top, shaved at the sides, and hot no matter how you look at it. But I’m not thinking about how I’d rather be here tonight with surly, hetero Gordy. No, tonight I’m here to simply put some feelers out for experimentation with someone whoisinto men.
“I’m forty,” Micah says, dragging me from my distracted thoughts.
I nod, and from there we fall into easy conversation. After a bit, the waiter interrupts us to take our orders. To be honest, I haven’t even had a chance to look over the menu, since Micah and I have been effortlessly chatting with one another. I will say, however, for thisnotbeing a date, itisstarting to feel rather date-esque. Whatever, if we’regoing to get a "workout" in later, perhaps he needs the fuel. I know I’m down for some carb-loading, hence why I chose the place.
It had little to do with the view of the bay, because studying Micah—specifically feeling out Blackbeard’s desire to walk Micah’s plank—was the only thing I planned on doing.
“So, circling back to what we were talking about before,” I say, once the waiter leaves. “When did you realize you were—gay? Bi?” Inquiring minds need answers here.
“Gay,” he confirms, taking a sip from his glass of water. After he swallows, and I take note of the way his Adam’s apple bobs in his neck—something I’ve never taken note of before, but definitely will again—he adds, “And I guess I’ve just always known. When I first started developing crushes, I noticed it was only ever with guys. And I had a lot of girlfriendswhen I was younger, ones who had crushes on me, but I never felt the same way back.” He shrugs.
“Wouldn’t you think that I would have always known?” I ask. “I mean, shouldn’t it be like that? You just… know?”
He ponders that for a beat. “Nah. Not necessarily, I mean. I grew up in an area that was generally pretty tolerant of the rainbow community. Not like here. My gosh, living here has taught me how conservative a place can be. I can see why, even subconsciously, it would be possible to deny yourself the kind of exploration you’re doing tonight. If I’m being completely honest, there are more queer people here than you’d think, they’re all just too scared to come out. Luckily, your brother’s admission has started to change that. This is the first time I’ve openly been on a date here in Ternbay. I’m at a point in my life where I’m over hooking up with men around here in total secrecy, you know?”
He doesn’t even look away from the sunset, however, before he sighs and adds, “Turns out, the guys I was seeing were married withkids, and the only thing they were looking to explore was the pathway to my tonsils. I’m over being a side-piece, thank you.”
I nearly spit out my drink of water as his statement about this being a date crashes into me like an errant wave. I thought we were on the same page here, but, apparently, my subtleties were a littletoosubtle. Fuck, now I’m going to feel like a complete asshole if I tell him that’s all I was looking for too. I thump on my chest and cough.
“Oh, gosh!” Micah’s eyes widen. “Are you alright?”
“Fine,” I croak, taking another sip.
Welp, what’s one date, right? Maybe I could entertain this a little, I guess. Would it be so wrong, if Ididdo a little takesie-backsie on that vow to never do relationships again? I can be mature enough to admit that I may have been having a bitterness-fueled temper tantrum at the time that I made that oath. If I do a real-quick deep dive into myself, do I really want to be a perpetual bachelor forever?
Not particularly.
“Nor should you be kept secret. You seem like a great guy,” I finally confess, after collecting myself.
His cheeks flare with a tinge of pink. “Thank you. As do you.”
