His hardened gaze lands on me, eyes swimming with a thousand things he wants to say.“Why won’t you kiss me?”
That’s the one he chooses first.
“Ashton.”
“Why don’t you want anyone to know about us?”
“I can’t?—”
He shakes his head. “What are you afraid of?”
“This isn’t the time for this conversation.” It’s too hot in here. Why is it so hot? I stand, crossing over to look for a window to open or something.
“Why can’t you just admit that you like me?” I hear the thump of his boots as he comes up behind me.
“Because I don’t!” I yell, whipping around to face him. “I like the way you make me come. That’s it.” I tried to keep us from getting to this point, but he won’t stop pushing. He’s going to keep asking questions he doesn’t really want the answers to? Fine. I’ll give him answers.
“You’re lying,” he sneers, stepping into me.
“How would you know?”
“Because I fucking know you, Allie. While you’ve been busy pretending you don’t feel anything for me, I’ve been taking notes. Did you know your eyes turn five different shades of blue?”
“What?”
He holds up his hand, ticking off his fingers. “There’s this soft powdery blue when you’re calm and relaxed. When you’re sad? They’re the color of the ocean when it rains. Intensesapphire when you’re concentrating really hard on something. The darkest shade of midnight when you’re angry or turned on—honestly, I can’t tell those two apart.” He lets out a dark chuckle before lifting his pinky finger. “And when you’re lying? Like right now? When you don’t want anyone to know what’s going on in that perfect, beautiful mind of yours? They turn the deepest shade of cobalt. Not quite midnight, but dark enough to hide behind.”
I just blink at him, staring incredulously for several moments.
Fuck him for knowing all that.
“You really are drunk,” I scoff.
His own eyes change color, clearly frustrated that his speech didn’t have the intended impact on me. Maybe it did, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“I had a few drinks and smoked a little weed,” he snaps. “So what? You’re allowed to pop pills, but God forbid I let go for a night.”
My heart sinks. How does he know about the pills? I haven’t taken them in months. Just as fast as the words came out of his mouth, regret takes over his features.
“Did you go through my stuff?” The accusation rolls off my tongue.
“No, I—” he starts, but the words get stuck in his throat. “Allie,” he tries again. “I’m sorry.”
“Let’s just go,” I reply. I don’t have the energy to talk about this right now. I need to get him out of here. God knows I’ve been in his situation more times than I can count, and I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have Nate looking out for me. I can put aside my anger for a couple of hours to make sure he gets home safely.
22
ALLIE
The floodlightsabove Ashton’s garage click on, bathing his driveway in a soft glow as we walk up the path to his house. The car ride home was silent. Ashton had his head leaned against the window the whole time, but he wasn’t sleeping. He swayed when he got out of the car, but luckily found his footing. I’m strong, but he’s got at least fifty pounds on me. Trying to carry him up the walkway would not have gone well.
He fumbles with his key for a moment before I gently take it from him and turn the lock, opening the door for us. As soon as we walk in, I’m hit with the familiar scent of cedar and something else that’s uniquely Ashton. When I inhale it on his body, it’s sexy—intoxicating. But here in his house? It’s, I don’t know, comforting?
I’ve been here a few times now, so I know my way around. Dropping his keys in the bowl on the entryway table, I steer him to the staircase. He mumbles something about feeding Clover as I hold the banister behind him, in case he trips. How did he manage to get even more drunk during the ride home from Declan’s? He was pretty wasted in the pool house, but he wasn’t swaying this much.
When we finally get to the landing, he tries to sit down on the top step.
“Oh no you don’t.” I attempt to pull him back up.
