“Wait, Ash.”
“Yes, Chaos?”
“You quitThe Lanternand went back to work for your dad.”
I nod. “I did.”
“You did it so he would help me with my mom.”
I nod again. “Yes.”
“Thank you.”
I smile, cupping her cheek and kissing her again, this time on the lips. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
40
ALLIE
I pinchthe skin under my eyes, noting the dark circles still residing beneath them. I feel like I’ve aged ten years in the last twenty-four hours. Between my dad showing up and everything with Ashton, I’ve barely gotten a chance to sleep. He ended up coming back last night after work. We talked. A lot. About everything we had been holding back. Everything we were afraid of. He admitted that he’d been in love with me for a while, and I told him I was pretty sure I had been too.
Then he kissed me stupid, but he wouldn’t go any further. We eventually went to bed but continued to talk until his eyes turned glassy and finally fluttered closed. Mine didn’t. There was still something that was gnawing at me. Of all the choices that were made, my dad’s to leave, Ashton’s to keep the truth from me, there was one that had no honor behind it. No benevolent intentions. I wasn’t going to let that choice go unnoticed.
I must have drifted off at some point because when I woke up, it was with a jolt. I ripped the covers off of me, got dressed, and before Ashton could wake up, I was gone. The guy at the front gate eyed me suspiciously, but when I told him I was there to see my grandparents, he held a phone up to his ear, nodded afew times, and then let me in. I stormed into the elaborate estate like a bull charging red. My grandparents were sitting in their dining room having a leisurely breakfast. I ignored Celeste’s gasps and my grandfather’s irritated frown. I didn’t let them speak. They didn’t deserve it. I simply told them in no uncertain terms that if either one of them ever contacted my mother or me again, I would file a restraining order and expose everything they did. Then I turned on my heel and left. Maybe their actions warranted more punishment, but I didn’t have the energy for that kind of revenge. I wanted them out of our lives, plain and simple. They may have been the catalyst for many of the hardships in my life, but it doesn’t mean I can blame them for everything. We all made our choices.
Shaking the thoughts of them away, I brush some mascara over my top lashes and swipe a clear layer of gloss on my lips. I remind myself that life has highs and lows, and mine is finally starting to trend upward. I even got another call from Ashton’s dad. It turns out my mom’s abusive ex was into some really shady shit and won’t be released any time soon. When I told my mom she could still press charges, she dismissed the idea. She’s not ready to tell her story publicly, and that’s okay. In the meantime, the bastard is rotting in prison.
I finish with my gloss and apply some liquid blush to my cheeks. I’m going understated for our first date tonight. Just some light makeup, black cut-off denim shorts, and a light blue ruffle-layered tank top. My hair is down, and when I’m done with my eye makeup, I put my glasses back on. Not to hide anything, but because they’re part of who I am.
I slip on black wedges and am heading to the living room to wait for Ash when my phone vibrates with an incoming text.
Nick: Here’s his number if you ever want to reach out. I can give him yours too if that’s okay with you.
The text is followed by a contact for Colt Hawkins.
My half-brother.
I couldn’t bring myself to enter ‘Dad’ as his contact name. We’re not quite there yet, but I did meet with him again today after the visit with my grandparents. It was hard, but I wanted to hear about his life. He told me that he met a woman and got married in between tours overseas. She found out she was pregnant shortly after he left for his second deployment, and when he finally got word, he vowed this tour would be his last. He didn’t want to leave another child without a father. My heart cracked at that admission. I was the collateral damage of the lesson he had to learn. I reminded myself that it was an impossible decision. He was being threatened, and he was young. Younger than I am now. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it helps soften some of the anger.
After he retired from the military, one of the songs he had written overseas was discovered, and he became a professional songwriter for—of all the genres in the world—country music artists. He swore to me that he still listens to every single one of the bands plastered on that old guitar, which he insisted I keep. It somehow managed to sustain only a small dent from when I dropped it.
Anyway, it only took my dad a few months of being back home for he and his wife to realize they were better suited as friends. They had both used each other to heal, but when all was said and done, the passion just wasn’t there. They had an amicable divorce and are still friends who co-parent their son together. Colt, my sixteen-year-old half-brother. Because it couldn’t have been a sister. No, it has to be another boy in my life who is no doubt going to annoy the ever-loving shit out of me.
Still, I want to meet him. Or at least speak to him. I save his number on my phone and reply to my dad, giving him permission to pass mine along as well. Growing up, I had alwaysdreamed of having a sibling. Someone who I knew would always be there. I was lucky enough to have found that in Em and even Nate when I got older, but I won’t turn my nose up at the chance to have another one in my life.
A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. I open it to find Ashton looking like a male model, arm slung up on the door frame, muscles pressing against his gray button-down, denim-clad legs crossed at the ankles. His hair is gelled, freckles on full display, and a hint of the dimple on his right cheek appears as his lips turn up into a full grin.
“You look?—”
I smile back. “Thanks.”
“Damn, this is going to be hard,” he mutters.
“What is?”
“Not mauling you in the car on the way there.”
“No one is saying you can’t.” I stick my ass out as I sway to the passenger side of his BMW.
