“Allie, please.”
“It doesn’t matter why you did it. Maybe it wasn’t as dramatic as a calculated revenge plot. Maybe you just didn’t know how to tell me, or you were scared I would be mad that you went behind my back. It doesn’t matter. You kept it from me.”
“You’re right,” I say. “I did.”
“You have to let me go, Ash. There’s no coming back from this.”
A single tear falls down my cheek and I nod, but it’s so slight, I’m not sure if I’m actually moving or just imagining it in my head. It doesn’t matter because seconds later, the doors burst open and Luke rushes through, his wild hair falling onto his tear-stained cheeks.
“I—I’m a father.” Allie runs to him, and he scoops her up and twirls her around before setting her back on the ground.
“I’m a fucking father, Allie.”
“I know,” she says, and then she swats his abdomen and musters up her signature scowl. “Don’t fuck it up or I’ll cut your balls off so you can’t reproduce anymore.”
“I won’t,” he says chucking. “Come on, psycho. I want you to meet your new nephew.” He grabs her hand before turning back to me.
“Hey man, you coming?”
“Yeah,” I say, collecting the wetness on my face with the back of my knuckles. “I’ll be right there.”
37
ALLIE
I watchas his little legs kick the swaddling blanket off his chest, and then he yawns, his little nose scrunching up. Babies have always been the last thing on my mind. My mom got knocked up when she was a teenager, and as much as I enjoy sex, I vowed to never end up in that situation before I was ready. Which as far as I was concerned would be never. I started taking birth control pills when I was sixteen and never had sex without a condom until Ashton.
But looking down at the precious life in front of me has me wondering if being a mother will ever be in the cards for me. If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago, I might have had even the faintest glimmer of hope. But now? I’ll just have to live with being the super cool aunt.
Emory returns to the nursery she and Luke set up in their cottage.
“Thanks,” she says, picking up Rowan and laying down his swaddle so she can redo it. “I’ve had to pee for the last hour.”
Luke is out getting all the essentials they were supposed to get right before the baby came. Since Em ended up being almosttwo weeks early, they weren’t as prepared as they thought they would be. She called me to come over so she could go to the bathroom, and I didn’t mind in the slightest. I’ll take all the baby-induced serotonin I can get these days.
Rowan is three days old today, which means it’s been exactly three days since I last spoke to Ashton. He came in to meet the baby but only stayed long enough to extend his congratulations. He hasn’t called or texted. He hasn’t shown up to sleep on my porch. I remind myself this is what I wanted. I told him to give up. If he kept showing up, he would eventually wear me down and I would listen to what he had to say. His excuses might sound reasonable, and I might give him a second chance. He stole my cold, dead heart and brought it back to life, after all. Who’s to say he couldn’t do it again? As my mom said, second chances are tricky. I still haven’t even decided if I’m giving my father one.
I look over at Emory, who is now standing by the window, gently swaying Rowan in her arms, singing a soft lullaby. My best friend is such a natural at this, and I know Luke is going to be an amazing father. They’ve been through so much together, and they both deserve this. Emory looks through the curtain, her eyebrows knitting together.
“Isn’t that Declan?” she asks.
I walk over to see what she’s looking at. Sure enough, Declan Astor is currently walking up my front steps.
That can’t be good.
I sigh. “Let me see what he wants,” I tell her.
“Good luck,” she calls.
I walk up my front steps, making sure to stomp so he hears me coming.
“Allie Montgomery.” His teeth scrape over his bottom lip, snagging on his lip ring. He’s always playing with that damn thing.
“I’m not in the mood, Astor. What the fuck do you want?”
“Shit, sweetheart,” he holds his hands up. “We all know you have claws. No need to bust them out every time.”
Crossing my arms, I narrow my eyes at him. “Do you have a point in being here? Let me guess, Ashton came crying to you that I broke his heart and now you’re here to make good on your threat?”
