“How long?” Her voice is quiet now, but with an edge to it I’ve never heard.
When I don’t answer, she slams her hand against the dashboard. “How long have you fucking known, Ashton?”
“Almost a year.” My heart thumps, panic climbing up my torso, but I fight it back. “I found him about a week after the bonfire.”
She shakes her head, as if doing so will change anything. “Why?” she whispers, fresh tears falling down her face, staining the shirt she’s wearing.
My shirt.
“Allie, listen.”
“I don’t understand. Was it to get back at me for leaving youon the beach? Were you going to hold it over my head or something?”
“God, no. Allie, I would never—I tried to call you.”
“So it’s because I ghosted you? I spilled my guts out to you, Ashton. I was fucking ashamed, so I ignored your calls. It wasn’t fucking about you.”
“No, I?—”
“Is that what you thought of me? Some poor, trashy girl with daddy issues?” she spits out. “You found my dad so you could dangle it in front of me?” Long gone is the shock and confusion of moments ago. In its place is white-hot anger, raging harder with each question. “Did you laugh about it with your friends at the country club?”
“Allie, please.”
She won’t listen, or she can’t hear me. I’m not sure which. Suddenly, her face pales as her eyes go wide.
“Oh my God. Was the job a setup? Did you tell Emory about it knowing you were going to take over? So you could harass me?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “I told Em about the job, but I didn’t know Theo was going to get sick.”
She scoffs. “If he’s even sick.”
I look her straight in the eye. “I would never lie about that.”
“I didn’t think you would lie aboutanything. Just a few hours ago, I was thinking about what a bad liar you would be.” A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “God, I’m such an idiot. How could I not have seen it? You lied about who Theo was to you. You kept the fact that you saw my pills from me.” She swings her legs around, snatching her glasses from the floor, and gets out of the car, slamming the door behind her. I follow, calling out to her.
She spins around. “When were you going to tell me?” I open my mouth, but she doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “You wanted to fuck me first, right? Her eyes are wild, bluer than I’veever seen them—so blue the color reflects on the tears splashing off her lashes. “You got a little taste and wanted more?”
She stalks closer to me, jabbing a finger into my chest so hard I need to take a step back to keep my balance. “I bet you didn’t plan on me falling for you either, but you lucked out. It must make the revenge taste even sweeter.”
“I’m so sorry, Allie.”
“Fuck you, Ashton. I don’t want an apology. I want you to stay out of my life.” Her voice cracks on the last word. “My letter of resignation will be on your desk on Monday morning.”
She turns around, stomping up the walkway, and I let her go. There’s nothing else I can do. If she knew the truth, it would only do more damage than what has already been done. She can hate me if it means he doesn’t get to break her heart all over again.
34
ALLIE
He doesn’t lookat me with the judgment I expected. I’ve never told anyone about my childhood. I’ve always been too ashamed. What kind of man leaves the mother of his child with nothing? And my mom? I try to believe none of it was her fault, but how did she keep getting into these situations? I’d be lying if I said I don’t resent her a little, which makes me feel even worse. What kind of daughter victim-blames her own mother?
He asked me about finding my father. Have I thought about it? Only every day of my life since I was old enough to realize he was never coming back. I’m scared. What if he wants nothing to do with me? What if he won’t give me the answers I need? Or worse, what if I’m better off not knowing?
“The fire’s dying,” Ashton’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “I can get us some more wood.” He goes to stand, but I stop him with a hand on his arm.
“No, it’s okay.” I lean closer to him, breathing in the scent of spearmint, cedar, and salt from the air that kisses his skin. “I don’t want you to go.”
He nods, settling back down onto the blanket, and I don’t think anymore. I act on instinct as I bring my lips to his, pressinggently. His breathing is ragged, his chest rising and falling against my breasts as I pull back. His light brown eyes widen, searching mine, and before I know it, he’s cupping both of my cheeks and slamming his lips against mine. My head falls back on the blanket, and he twists his body to lean against me.
