I spread out all of the takeout boxes on the coffee table. Ruby pours me a glass of bourbon and slides it over to me, then she takes a seat, leaving one empty cushion between us.
As I dig into the steak tacos, she scoops a chip into a bowl of guac and covers her mouth as she chews. Swallowing, she says, “So. Tell me about Callie.”
I can’t stop the stupid grin that spreads across my face, but it falters when I remember how badly I fumbled the ball.
“Oh shit. You’ve got it bad.”
“You’re not wrong.” I tilt my head to the side and let out a ragged sigh. “She’s… fuck, Ruby. She’s incredible. At first, she comes off shy and reserved, but there’s this fire inside of her just waiting to be unleashed. She’s smart as hell, and funny in a clever way.”
“And beautiful.” Ruby gives me a sidelong glance.
“Gorgeous,” I counter, tapping my fingers against the side of my glass. “But it’s her heart more than anything that attracted me in the first place.”
“So, what’s the issue?”
“I fucked up.”
“As in you lied to her fucked up, or cheated on her fucked up?”
I take a sip of my bourbon and recline against the cushions. “She asked about Ryan.”
Ruby’s mouth makes an O-shape before she pinches her lips together. She was sixteen when Ryan died, and she knows how much it messed me up. The five-year age gap between us didn’t stop her from trying to bring me back from the brink of self-destruction. She was and still is a grounding point for me.
“I’m guessing you didn’t tell her about him?” There’s a tinge of disappointment to her voice that I hadn’t expected.
“What was I supposed to say? ‘My best friend died because of me, and I’ve never gotten over it?’”
“How about ‘I lost my best friend in a tragic accident, and I can’t stop blaming myself even though I couldn’t have prevented it?’”
I down the rest of my drink and pour another. “You weren’t there that night. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Let me ask you something.” She picks up her wine and swirls it in the glass. “Is she important to you?”
“Yes. More than anything.” There’s no hesitation leftwhere Callie’s concerned. I already know I want her—no,needher—in my life.
“So, what are you doing in my living room other than getting drunk and eating tacos when you could be with the only woman you’ve ever truly cared about?”
“I can count at least three other women I care about.”
“Are you purposefully being dense? That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
I lean forward and clasp my hands together. “She walked away.”
“You didn't exactly give her much of a choice,” she says earnestly. “She was trying to connect with you, Jax. You shut her down. Do you know how it feels to be discarded like that? You need to look at it from her perspective.”
Shit. When she says it like that, it makes perfect sense why Callie would want to distance herself. She’s been on her own for so long. The first time she tried to open up, I pushed her away. I really am the asshole. I should never have dragged her into my life if I wasn’t going to let her all the way in. That’s my mistake to reckon with—my sin to atone for. I’ll find a way to make it up to her. I’ll get down on my knees and beg if I have to. Somehow, someway, I’ll show her I’m worthy of a place in her life.
Ruby plants her elbow on the back of the couch and rests her cheek against her hand. “Talk to her. Cut yourself open, lay yourself bare. Whatever you have to do to make things right. Just… let her see you, Jax. If you aren’t willing to do that, you don’t deserve her.”
“You’re damn right about that part.”
“I usually am. Just ask Liam.”
I glance toward the floor-to-ceiling windows and stare out at the panoramic view of Nashville. Ruby only stays here when she’s touring or recording. She spends most of her timeat home in Oak Ridge with her fiancé, Liam, and his son, Aiden. “How is the broody bastard anyway?”
“You mean my husband?”
I gape at her. “You didn’t.”
