I put my hands on my hips. “Well, shit, no pressure now that you’re here.”
“Oh, stop, you’re going to do great. I’m just excited to watch you guys go. How’s your new mare doing?”
“She’s incredible. Had a great first show in Evergreen River with her. I didn’t want to show her here, just brought her for some exposure.”
Eli nodded in understanding. “Want to go grab some lunch and catch up? I know how you like to be left alone before your ride.”
I laughed. “It seems everyone knows that. Yeah, let’s go eat. I could use a distraction until game time.”
Eli and I caught up over lunch. His business was booming per usual, and he’d found another “prodigy,” or so he called her, to replace me, but admitted she didn’t have the instincts I had. I told him all about my business, my clients, my clients’ horses, and how lucky I felt for it to already be as successful as it was. He said he wasn’t even the least bit surprised that I was the real deal, and I needed to start believing that. The conversation with my old trainer and friend was just what I needed to get my mind right for tonight’s Prix. With the field consisting of some of the world’s best, the likes of Lyle Ward, Betsy Frasier, and Kent Miller, I knew that this wasn’t a Prix I would likely win, but I just wanted to put in a well-ridden round. This was my chance to make a statement for myself, Cash, and my farm in front of some of the most influential trainers and riders in the show jumping world.
I had my show jacket, helmet, and gloves on as I popped in my AirPods to start my usual ritual, a little Notorious B.I.G. coming through the speakers. I sat down in the chair inside the makeshift tack room and closed my eyes, envisioning the course and the route I had mapped out when I walked it. This Grand Prix was set higher than the one in Evergreen River. It was set at 1.6 meters or five feet three inches, and even though I had jumped Cash that height at home, we had never shown atthat height. It also had the most prize money of any Prix I had competed in at two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I liked the course that the course designer came up with. It was pretty straightforward, but he threw in some tricky combinations.
Lacey walked into the tack room and put a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. I opened my eyes and looked up at her, removing my AirPods. “You need to get on in about five minutes. They are already on the fifth horse.” I nodded, and Lacey made her way back out of the tack room to get Cash.
This was it. It was go time. I was going twelfth in the lineup of a massive field of over thirty horses, and somehow I was still one of the youngest riders to compete at this level out of the bunch. I tried to let that fact sink in and give me the confidence that I needed to complete the job.
Lacey led Cash out to me and stopped him in front of the mounting block. I placed my left foot in the stirrup and swung my right leg over the top of him and settled into my saddle. I sat there for a minute, taking a deep, calming breath before gathering my reins and heading toward the warm-up ring. I patted his neck as we walked down the path toward the ring. “Here goes nothing, buddy.”
Eli ended up meeting me down at the warm-up ring to help Lacey set jumps for me and to be the moral support that he knew I needed. Cash was warming up the same way he did in Evergreen River, which only boosted my confidence. Even Eli commented on how good he looked. Once I felt confident in how we were both jumping, I let Cash walk for a couple of laps before heading toward the ingate to the arena to watch the fewrounds ahead of me.
Once I stepped up to the ingate, Cash’s ear immediately pricked forward at all the sights and sounds. I took that second to really take in this moment and soak it all in. It wasn’t called Saturday Night Lights for nothing—the lights shone brightly onto the massive arena, the stands were filled with spectators, the jumps were vivid and colorful, and gorgeous horses and talented riders showcased spectacular athletic abilities. It was truly a sight to behold, and I was lucky enough to get to ride in that arena with these accomplished riders and horses. In that moment, I felt the pressure that I put on myself ease. I had made it this far. Just being here and getting to ride in this Grand Prix was enough, no matter the outcome, and that feeling truly brought a calmness and a sense of peace over me.
Eli patted Cash’s neck and looked up at me as Lacey ran a rag over my boots to polish them before I entered the ring. “You know where you’re going?”
I barked out a laugh. Eli asked me that question every single time I was about to go into the ring when I used to ride with him, and the nostalgia that it brought back made my chest squeeze.
“Yes, sir.” I gave him my usual response, followed by the customary salute.
He saluted back with the proudest smile overtaking his face. “Go get ’em, kid.” I nodded and trotted Cash into the arena.
As the announcer introduced us to the large crowd, I circled Cash around a few jumps that I thought he might take a peek at. I heard some particularly loud cheers shouting my name,which caught my attention because it sounded an awful lot like my brother Walker. I turned my head, and it felt like my heart was lodged in my throat. Tears immediately pricked the back of my eyes. I didn’t know how I’d missed them when I entered the ring, but my mom, dad, Walker, Weston, and Ava were in one of the VIP boxes near the ingate. In the box next to them was Dean, his parents, Archer, and Harper. I looked at the box holding my family and put my hand over my heart, a huge smile on my face. My family returned the gesture, and then my eyes shifted over to Dean. Butterflies immediately took flight at the sight of him. He had the sexiest smile aimed in my direction, and he blew me a kiss. I was so caught off guard by the sight of all of them that all I could do was smile and wave.
Harper’s words flashed through my mind.Dean has shown up for you day after day.I felt like I had finally gained the clarity I needed because I knew in that moment that I didn’t need proof that Dean hadn’t sent those text messages. Deep down, I knew who Dean was and the kind of man he was. I knew that I loved him, and after seeing him sitting in that box surrounded by all my friends and family, I was fairly certain that he loved me too.
With everyone I ever wanted in this arena with me, I was ready to get to work. The buzzer signaled me to start, and I moved Cash into a canter to make our approach to the first jump.
The entire course felt like a blur, like I was having an out-of-body experience and just floating above the arena watching it all unfold. Cash jumped his heart out. He was with me every step of the way, even saved my ass on a coupleof jumps. When we landed off the last jump and the crowd erupted, I hadn’t even realized we’d gone clean. I turned my focus to the scoreboard, and to my utter shock and surprise, we indeed went clear within the time allowed and were headed to the jump-off. Honestly, I already felt like I had won at that point, but damn, did it feel good.
I walked us out of the ring, rubbing Cash’s neck as we made our way over to Eli and Lacey. After I hopped off, Lacey gave me a huge hug, congratulating me before taking Cash back to rest for a bit before the jump-off. So far, five horses had gone clean, and there were still twenty more to go. Eli was next to step up and give me a hug. “Damn, kid, that was a hell of a ride.” He held me back at arm’s length and leaned down a bit to look me in the eye. “I am so proud of you.”
I had to fight the tears that were threatening to fall as I thanked him and hugged him again.
“But now, let’s focus on the jump-off. This isn’t over yet.” Eli and I spent the next twenty minutes strategizing how to approach the track for the jump-off, and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t feel good to be here in this moment with him.
I hung out up at the arena to watch several more horses go in the first round before I headed back to grab Cash. As I was fixing my hair under my helmet, Lacey walked up. “The last horse just finished, and they’re going to drag the ring and set up for the jump-off. Thirteen total horses in the jump-off. You’re in the tenth spot.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Lace. Can you grab Cash for me once they have the jumps set?”
“Sure thing! I’m going to head back up to the ring and keep an eye on where they are with everything.” Lacey turned on her heel and headed off.
This day felt surreal. I was about to compete in the jump-off against riders that I idolized, and the man I was in love with had shown up for me in a way no other man ever had. Despite everything that had come between us, despite the weeks of silence, Dean was there for me in my biggest moment. He knew how much this Grand Prix meant. He’d brought my entire family, my best friend, and his family as if to prove that I wasn’t facing this alone. As much as I wanted to get back into the ring, what I wanted most was to finish so I could wrap myself in the arms of the man who knew how to show up for me when it mattered most.
I was able to watch a couple of horses go before I got back on Cash to warm up. The two that went both had a rail down, giving them four faults. Out of the first six horses that went before me, only two went clean, and not surprisingly, one was Betsy Frasier. Kent Miller was going right before me, which I was low-key fangirling over because that meant I got to watch his round front and center by the ingate. Lyle Ward was going last.
One other horse went clean and qualified for the jump-off before Kent Miller entered the ring. He was currently ranked second in the world, and it was an honor to compete in the same arena as him. As expected, he had a flawless round, and I was a sponge as I soaked up and cataloged each move he made and when. As we passed each other, Kent walking out of the ringand me walking in, he looked over at me and smiled. “Good luck. Make sure and take your time on your approach to jump five.” Then he winked and made his way out of the ring, and all I could do was nod and smile like a starstruck teenager.
I shook off the Kent interaction and refocused my mind. As we were being announced once again to the crowd, I glanced over at the VIP box where Dean sat. His dark, intense gaze was already on mine, and the minute I locked eyes with him, all he did was smile and nod, a silentYou’ve got this.I felt the nerves and tension melt from my body. I took a deep breath, and once the buzzer sounded, I picked up the canter and we made our way to the first jump.
