“Look, being with Ronan is lots of fun. And we’ll go see him again. But we have to make sure we do our best in our lives with our responsibilities, too. It’s part of taking care of ourselves and always being ready for tomorrow. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” Leo said defeatedly.
“No,” Matteo said defiantly.
Giada unlocked their front door and left it standing open. “You guys go ahead in and I’ll be in in a minute, okay?”
Both kids dragged their feet, their shoulders slumping as they stomped into the tiny home.
Giada took the few steps over to Ronan.
“You sure about this? There’s no reason you can’t just stay with me,” Ronan said.
“Of course, there is. One — I just met you a little more than a week ago. Two — I’ve got responsibilities here. Three — you see how they’re already not happy to be coming back to our place. What if something happens and our place, or one like it is the best we can do and they’re miserable? It’s not fair to them to allow them to get used to a different way of life if there’s a chance that it won’t last.”
“Giada, the only way it won’t last is if you don’t want it to. I’ve made it clear what I want. I’ve opened my life and everything about me to you. You love being with me. They love being with me. You even said you can’t sleep when you’re here because you stay awake listening to every little noise because you don’t feelsafe. You slept so good in my home. You were relaxed and felt safe and so were they. You like it with me. I don’t understand why we can’t be together.”
Giada looked down at her hands while he was speaking. When he stopped talking she continued looking down at her hands. “I need time.”
“For what?”
“I just, I need to make sure this is what I think it is. I need time to deal with my doubts. And… you can’t hold that against me.”
“I don’t. I’m just saying I can provide you with everything you and the boys need.”
“Okay, if you go to school, how are you going to afford a family?”
“I’ve worked construction with my family since I was a young teen. I plan to do that on the weekends and during vacations. I have some money put away, and the house is free. All I have to pay for is utilities.”
“You’re planning on building a new house. How?”
“The clan pays for it, because it’s on clan land. I pay it back over time.”
“And the land you just happened to purchase?”
“Emmalyn gifted it to me. I’m not in debt for it. Is that what you’re worried about? That I’m incurring so much debt it’ll be detrimental?”
She shook her head tiredly, not sure how she could make him understand without insulting him. “No, that’s not it. Anybody living in America today has debt. That isn’t what makes me hesitate.”
“Then what does?”
She sighed and looked off toward the trees of the park like area the tiny home community had been built in, before she looked back at him. “Ronan, I love being with you. I don’t wantto stop seeing you. But I have so many things inside my head screaming at me to pay attention to them. You have a family. That family takes care of their own. That family is not afraid of anybody coming at them, because as I said, they protect their own. That family provides for its members to the point that they can provide housing, and land, and all you have to do is continue to be a part of them, and pay them back over time.”
He got it. It sounded like a dynasty. Like a crime family. “You know we’re not like your ex. We’re just good, honest people who have been fortunate enough to have strong familial bonds and make good decisions in business. We work hard and don’t throw our money away. We reinvest in ourselves.”
“I like your family. Everyone I’ve met so far is so nice, and selfless, even. But you have to admit you all have a way about you of getting things done when no one else would have been able to. There’s something about you that shouts confidence and assurance that I’ve only ever seen in the past I come from. I’m not asking you to go away. But I need some time before I decide to make anything permanent. I’m risking a lot, and I can’t just run into your arms blindly. I have to take my time and work through my doubts.”
“What if you’re not able to work through your doubts?”
“I don’t know.”
He nodded, then handed her the large bag of food they’d taken home from the steakhouse. “This is for you guys. There should be more than enough for the three of you. Give me a call if you think about it.” He turned and walked away.
“Ronan!” Giada called out.
He didn’t stop walking but he did glance over his shoulder, just barely catching her eye. “Go on in, now. Lock your door. Let me know when you want some company.”
Giada just stood there, her door opened behind her, fighting with herself over everything she’d pointed out to Ronan, andeverything she really wanted with him. Every concern she had made sense. It was logical. But that didn’t mean her concerns added up to the same situation she’d run from.
