I don’t want to hurt Harper. I want her in my life. As a friend.
Once I start fucking Amy, I’ll tell Harper what it really is. I’ll say it’s just fucking.
It really will be just that.
I’ll just be getting her out of my system.
“Of course it wasn’t true,” I say. “I told Amy ahead of time that we’re going to put on a performance. I’m going to let her win. Make sure she gets that scholarship.”
Harper scowls. “Why would you do that for her?”
“I’m trying to make amends.”
She raises both hands in the air. “For what?”
I scoff. “For what we did when you read her fanfic. It was fucked up.”
She waves a hand as she starts pacing my floor. Fuck, she must be really anxious. “No, it wasn’t,” she says. “Amy probablyloved it. She loves getting attention for her writing. She always did.” She scowls. “Her fanfic is so cheesy and smutty. She used to be a better writer than that. Clearly, she’s changed since we stopped being friends.”
“I happen to like her fanfic,” I say, and I want to cringe at my words. That little witch has me under some kind of spell. Here I am, coming to her defense like a loyal dog when she’s never been anything but an asshole to me.
Harper cringes. “You don’t even read. Not real literature, at least. Her writing has become so cliche and tropey. She should be embarrassed. Hopefully, that day inspired her to work harder.”
I shake my head. “It was cruel what we did. Everyone was laughing while she just sat there. She didn’t deserve it at all.” My chest grows tight. “I hate myself for letting you do it.”
I hated myself the second I saw Amy’s face as Harper read it. Those big hazel eyes were wide and hurt, and I wanted to fucking die. Why did I even allow it in the first place?
Because of some little offhand comment she’d made the day before that gutted me.
“I still think you’re boring,”Amy had said with a laugh.
She was only joking, but holy fuck, it killed me.
Am I really that fucking fragile when it comes to her? God damn it, I just need to finally fuck her. Or else I’ll always revert to that dopey teenager whenever she’s around.
“Why do you even care?” Harper says. “She never fucking loved me. We were only friends because she thought she was so much smarter than me, and it made her feel good about herself. She wasn’t there for me when it counted. She didn’t even give a shit when my dad died.”
I grit my teeth. There’s no use reasoning with her on this topic.
“Well,” I say. “I need to make amends. After I do, I’ll be done with her.”
“Why do you need to make amends?” Harper’s voice cracks. “What’s so special about her?”
I look into those pleading eyes. Fuck, I can’t tell her anything close to the truth. That I want Amy with an intensity I’ve never felt for her, even during our best times. Harper needs to move on. My relationship with her isn’t healthy. I became her emotional crutch after her dad died.
Still, I have to protect her.
“It’s the right thing to do,” I say.
She nods jerkily, seeming to be fighting back tears. “Okay. I can live with that. Just remember that she’s manipulative. She tricked me into thinking she really cared about me. Don’t let her do it to you. Don’t let her get into your head.”
I let out a sigh. “I won’t.” It’s a lie. Amy’s already in my head. She’s been there for a long time.
A gnawing fear somewhere deep within tells me a few months of fucking Amy Harrington could never be enough.
CHAPTER 11
Amy
