Zane doesn’t seem to care, taking the dropped half of my sandwich and stalking after the boy who knocked it to the ground. They’re out of sight behind the science block when I hear a startled cry, then a few moments later, Zane reappears, crossing back to his table, flexing his right hand.
Maddox glares as he takes his seat and Zane looks like he doesn’t give a single fuck.
I’m confused but with a pinch of optimism that’s been missing so far.
A sense that dissipates completely as I head up the narrow stairs to the clubhouse. There’s no one within earshot of this place. He could do anything he likes, and nobody would care.
But when I reach the room, he’s not even there yet. I walk to the window and stare down at the quad, the last few students hustling to get to class. It’s weird to be in this space alone, disconcerting because I no longer feel entitled.
Then Zane thumps up the stairs and I turn my back to the window, cupping my elbows.
“Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”
I nod but remain tense as he walks towards me, stopping a metre away with his hands on his hips. “What the fuck did you do to upset Maddox? He’s never been a talker but now he can’t even communicate in grunts.”
“I didn’t—”
“Spare me. That’s my best friend you’ve sent into a tailspin.”
“My brother used to supply his sister.”
He drops back a step. “Well, that’s… fuck.”
“Ant used to deal until he got too lost in his own habit. Once he stopped, he turned to sex work. So did Addie but Maddox thinks it’s something my brotherdidto her.” My voice spiralsupwards as the words pour from me faster and faster. “Like she didn’t make her own choices. Like his dad cutting her off wasn’t the reason she resorted to doing that in the first place.”
“Hey.” He walks over and gives me a hug, the gesture as welcome as it is unexpected. In the middle of the longest week ever, it’s lovely to have the show of support. “He’ll come around.”
“I don’t think he will. Not with how he—” And I have to bite my tongue because that’s not my secret to say. “How is he doing?”
“He’s a fucking mess.”
“Did he…?” I shake my head a little, clearing my throat. “Did he tell you how he got his injury?”
Zane stares at me so long anxiety bites, then his eyes flick to the window. “I told you I lost my mother from cancer not long before Addie died. Mads is the only one who could ever talk to me about it, who understood.” He stares down at his hands. “In those first weeks after, I spent most of my time around at his place. It was when Addie seemed to be getting better. Clean for the first time in years.”
“I’m sorry.” The misery just keeps piling up. “Ant didn’t want to hurt her, I swear.”
Zane’s face scrunches as he shakes his head. “Yeah, I know.” He gives a funny little cough, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I have this quirk. It’s… I don’t know if Maddox told you, but I have a thing for crying girls.”
I duck my head to hide a smile. “He might have mentioned something.”
“Addie was in tears a lot.”
My stomach hurts and I press my hand against it, not wanting to hear where this is going. Sad for everything and everyone, my empathy pulling me in a dozen directions. “You paid her?”
“I paid her,” he confirms, a long sigh escaping as he stares at the floor. “She’d been clean, then I paid her. She used the money to buy drugs, and she died. It’s all such a mess.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
He stares at me, and I can see the trepidation in his eyes. The sorrow and regret warring with each other. “Because I have to tell somebody. Because I’ve always been scared Maddox would find out and hate me and if I can’t get him to see past your brother’s involvement and accept you back, even when he loves you, then what hope do I have?”
“The hope of someone who’s been friends for years instead of knowing him a month?”
He gives a sorrowful laugh. “Somehow I don’t think longevity is going to cut it.”
“You really think he loves me?”
His eyes relax, and he gives a small nod. “I think he lit up on the night he met you, and just kept growing brighter. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
